It is barely daylight here today. The temperature is 48 degrees or 8 degrees if you like your weather in Celsius. Uggh. 24 days till Xmas. My cold and dark corner of Scotland feels very bleak right now.
I look at Liana's
pics of South Africa and long for some sunshine. Or even some particularly vicious snow. Anything other than this unrelenting damp gloom! Go and visit her and give her some IF love as she is at the transfer stage in her DE cycle. So thrilling!
Our second counselling interview went very well yesterday. My donor was a little bit more relaxed about the talking and the probing of feelings. She is not really that kind of person normally. Whereas I would talk the hind and front legs off of a donkey, given half a chance.
We discussed lots of issues regarding our openness about the donor treatment with our respective and shared families. We are committed to being completely open with them regarding her gift. Of course, that will not be until there is actually something concrete to tell. Probably after the birth!! I will not believe it until then.
There is always lots of talk about adoption in the blogoshere and my take on it is that it should be a part of the child's life experience right from the start. I am not presuming that this is what everyone should do. It is my opinion. However, I feel the same way about donor egg treatment too. It is even more relevant in that we will be a blended family, with my family, Mr P's family and the donor's family.
I know it is different if you use an anonymous donor outwith the UK as there is no way that the child will be able to trace the donor/biological mother. If your feelings are that you do not ever want to tell the child, I would respect your decision. My own decision is to be completely open.
Here in the UK, no donor is anonymous now. The law changed in April 2005 and any child from donor treatment from that date can access the information from the HFEA at the age of 18, much in the same way as accessing adoption records now. I definitely know that even if we did use an anon. donor here in the UK, I would not want to drop the bombshell at 18.
Lots of issues are mulling about in my brain so bear with me as I continue to process them. This is the whole point of the counselling. It is not to make us jump through hoops although it is mandatory. It is about confronting issues that may have not been considered.
I came out of the room after 2 hours and felt as if I had been wrung out and left to dry. In a good way though.
The 3rd and final session will be just me and Mr P. My taciturn Scottish man is going to love it (not!) My donor is finished with the counselling at the moment. If she felt that there was anything else she wished to explore, the option is there for further sessions.
Oh, and guess what? The next session is in another 3 weeks. Yippee...more waiting. Us infertiles just love that!!!
In order to salve the waiting and the boredom, I of course went shopping. Oro, you missed me as I was up your way on Wednesday. To celebrate the fact that I have completely finished my Xmas shopping (no mean feat - 10 children to buy pressies for and the rest of the adults), I made some purchases
. The stocking is for me as I love pompoms
Oh, and by the way, the counsellor had some lovely boots on this time. Thank goodness, she redeemed herself in the footwear dept! Phew!