Pamplemousse

PCOS - check. Infertility - check. IVF - check. 43 years young - check. Sick of babydust - fricking double check. Join a Scottish infertile as she slowly swirls down the plughole. Now with added donor egg flava.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Auld Lang Syne

Happy New Year to all my blogger chums. Let's hope 2006 is a better year for some of us.

I did not mean to keep you all hanging on the Xmas debacle. It was not that exciting - just the usual clash of culture between infertile and Xmas. The infertile never wins!

Xmas morning was a huge meltdown of tears, wailing and the usual histrionics. It all started off so well with the carols on TV, the stockings bulging and goodwill to all women. Mr P tried his best but unfortunately the damage had been done the night before.

It was all the fault of an innocent 2 year-old on Xmas Eve, the youngest son of a friend. He had his new Xmas jim-jams, the ritual of the carrots for Rudolph, the search out of the window for Santa on his sleigh. He was so adorable and my heart just shattered into smithereens. The reality of another barren festival was upon me and I did not react with grace. I did manage to hold myself together and delay it until the next day, only to heap it all upon Mr P's unfailing broad shoulders and ruin his Xmas Day.

Eventually I pulled myself together and we had the traditional turkey etc. We passed Xmas Day watching The Big Sleep and Singing in the Rain. Gawd alone knows I needed some of Gene Kelly's magic to keep me going.

24 Comments:

At 1:16 PM, Blogger Lut C. said...

Happy new year to you!

Xmas is a tough cookie al right. On the bright side, it's more than 11,5 months till next time.

 
At 3:09 PM, Blogger DD said...

Somedays I wonder what good is Mr. DD, but most he can pull thru. It's good that Mr. P can do the same. I'm sure you didn't ruin his day, either. Knowing you can come to him is probably a very special gift.

 
At 3:39 PM, Blogger Nico said...

I'm so sorry that your heart was broken last year. I hope with all my heart that this year will be a fantastic one for you.

 
At 6:02 PM, Blogger Thalia said...

I hope that this year will be so much better. Here's to no more christmas heartbreak.

 
At 6:07 PM, Blogger Liz said...

The holidays can be such a difficult time. Hoping 2006 will bring you much happiness.

 
At 6:41 PM, Blogger Avonlea said...

I bet Mr. P didn't feel Christmas was ruined - having it without you would be the only thing that would do that.

 
At 8:21 PM, Anonymous Mary Scarlet said...

I've never been gladder to see the backside of Xmas, it really stinks when you're in an if place. But hurrah for Singing in the Rain ... one of my faves and some of the best film therapy there is. Hoping 2006 is a wonderful year for you.

 
At 10:17 PM, Blogger Katie (WannaBeMom) said...

Oh, Pamples. Blech. I just keep saying, "2006 is bringing great things" in a pathetic new age attempt to draw the good things to me. I'll say it for you too. Although, bear in mind I also take advice from Roy Cropper.

 
At 10:36 PM, Anonymous apirolo said...

Happy New Year, Pamplemousse. Here's hoping 2006 brings many good things with it.

 
At 1:52 AM, Anonymous mm said...

Thank God Christmas is over-- I'm sure I ruined Mr Limboparty's holiday as well... what with my eye rolling and crying during the church service we attended on xmas eve and the general state of bitchiness I maintained for the rest of the wknd. Bring on 2006.

 
At 2:55 AM, Blogger Teendoc said...

So sorry that the kid got to you. This is such a terrible struggle.

 
At 7:36 AM, Blogger MC said...

Yes Christmas is a struggle. J and I are at the end of our tether. J refused to go to his cousin's New Year's Eve party as all the kids that were at his birthday a few days before would be there again. Of course we gave a different excuse. It was just kids at every family thing we went to. It brings it home to me that it's his loss too.

 
At 11:46 AM, Blogger chris said...

I'm sorry.

 
At 7:08 PM, Blogger fisher queen said...

Our poor husbands are such rocks.


At least we can say THE HOLIDAYS ARE OVER!!!!!

 
At 10:41 PM, Blogger Donna said...

The holidays are so difficult...seeing other people's children makes the loss so palpable. Its all over now and you have a clean slate to begin with.

 
At 11:33 PM, Blogger PortLairge said...

Happy New Year Pamplemousse. I hope 2006 brings all you wish for.

 
At 11:56 PM, Blogger Sparkle said...

Know exactly how you feel, it took till NYE for me to snap out of the self-induced IF misery. It's great to Xmas out of the way.

 
At 12:02 AM, Anonymous Lori said...

Sorry you had a christmas meltdown. Hopefully 2006 will be much better and that was the last holiday inspired meltdown ever.
Happy New Year.

 
At 12:27 AM, Anonymous Manuela said...

Yep. Hear ya loud and clear. I did a pretty damn good job of keeping those infertility Christmas humbugs at bay... you know... by carousing in the Carribbean and staying drunk for nearly two weeks... but it ALL came undone at the airport... on our way home. Was it some darling little cherub offering me one of her goldfish crackers??? No. Was it some precocious little love that inadvertantly made some adorable remark? No. Was it some curluy-haired little moppet cuddling her new Christmas doll?? No.

It was puking.

Yes.

Puking.

I fought back tears of longing as I watched some lucky mother holding back the hair of her little girl as she puked into an air-sick bag. The mom was stroking the little girl's forehead, and kissing the crown of her head as she issued words of comfort to her vomitous offspring. Afterwards, the little girl lay all curled up on her mothers lap as mom issued soothing words into her ear.

I was crushed. Devastated. *I* want to comfort a travel-sick little soul... *I* want to be the one to make her feel better... *I* want to cuddle her with love, willing her sore tummy to go away.

Siiiiggggh. Yep. A puking kid. That's what I want. HOW pathetic is that.

 
At 2:09 PM, Blogger amyesq said...

Oh, I hear you! Spending Christmas with The Terror and my other sister, now PG, shoved it right in my face the whole time. I hope and pray that 2006 brings us what we so deserve. No more tears on Christmas unless they are happy ones.

 
At 3:49 PM, Blogger Claudia said...

Hey, it's done and you made it through. And who knows, things could be very, very different for you this next holiday season. That's what I'll be hoping for...

Happy new year to you!

 
At 4:48 PM, Anonymous T said...

I'm sorry - here's to a better 2006!

 
At 6:07 PM, Blogger Lisa said...

Ack! Thankfully Christmas only comes once a year. I don't think we would have time to patch up our hearts in between if it came any more often. I hope 2006 is filled with joy for you and that next Christmas will be memorable in a different way than this years was.

 
At 2:17 AM, Blogger Suz said...

I'm so sorry. I really hope that things are better next year.

 

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