PCOS - check. Infertility - check. IVF - check. 43 years young - check. Sick of babydust - fricking double check. Join a Scottish infertile as she slowly swirls down the plughole. Now with added donor egg flava.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

This Ain't No Disco, This Ain't No Party

Spring has sprung as the grass was cut for the first time today!!! And the clocks go forward an hour tonight and it will be officially British Summer Time. Yeehaw, bring on the summer. (Well, as much summer as we have here, far up in the northern hemisphere. Did you know we are on the same latitude as Moscow here???)

At least they still get snow in Moscow. We have had two smatterings of snow all winter, where the ground was barely white. Even the frosts have not been that bad. The worst thing is that means the midgies will be thronging this year. I know we could still have snow yet here but even Southern England has had more snow than us here. The local ski industry is dying a death.

I treasure my weekends at the moment as work is so mad during the week.

I am delivering some fairly long-term learning at the moment, four weeks per learning tranche. This means that I really get to know my learners as we are in class 5 days a week for 4 weeks at a time but it also means much harder work for me. Harder work but if I did not love it, I would not be doing it. It is a totally different dynamic than delivering 1 day or half-day courses. Then it is like "Hi" and then "Goodbye" in a fairly short period of time.

4 weeks is a long time to deal with diverse personalities and skillsets. I just keep gritting my teeth and smiling!!! Hard to believe, I know!

Today I decided it was time to wrestle my eyebrows and 'tache to the salon, to celebrate the arrival of BST. Whilst there, I also had a valley girl french manicure.

In order to counteract the womanliness and the feminine aura, I came home, donned the overalls, gloves and sunglasses and proceeded to hack my way round the dogwood, buddleia, winter jasmine and any other bush that dared to look my loppers in the eye. Spring cleaning for the garden.

I pretty much did not touch my garden last summer so this year is it! Look out weeds, the end is nigh.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Save The Cheerleader, Save The World

Ho hum. Nothing much happens round here that is very exciting any more. Why do you come here????

Anyhoo, as you can tell by the title, Heroes has finally landed here and I am utterly obsessed after the first double episode-showing. Quel comic geekoid I am.

I have been assiduously avoiding the spoilers about the plot in trashy US tabloids and on E News but that is par for the course with all the TV I watch. British TV is alright if you like hospital potboiler drama but I am afraid that it does not cut it for me. As for the soaps, urggh. I have enough doom and gloom* in my life without wasting my brain cells on that.

No. You know me. It is solid USA all the way for me. Well, keep your dirty politics and warmongering but as long as I can have my shows, I will tolerate you mis-spelling people ;)

The Wire (still watching Series 3 on DVD in order to savour the McNulty and Stringer experience)
CSI (strictly Vegas only, baby)
Rescue Me
Jericho (Skeet Ulrich, yum yum),
Intelligence (strictly Canadian but who's counting),
Lost (but if it does not pick up the plot soon, it is going to be evicted off my roster)
and Curb Your Enthusiasm.

It's all good.

I do have to say unequivocally, I do not like Ugly Betty. Maybe it is because I am not very good-looking so it is a sore point for me. Or maybe because I do not find it at all subversive or ground-breaking in its portrayal of multi-culturalism and sexuality. It might be so in Idaho or Kansas but not over here in the UK. I think mainly I just do not think it is very funny.

Not much else action-wise really. I did do some gardening last weekend but I am not sure that qualifies as "action", even in my nanoverse.

*Actually, no gloom at all thanks to the lovely green pills. In fact, it dawned on me this week that I have not had any sleepwalking episodes since I started them. I do now sleep like a log so that is a good side-effect to chalk up for me. Still waiting for 50lbs to drop off and my legs to grow a foot longer and win the lottery but heck, a girl has to dream about something, right?

I know. Lets pretend to be interactive and you ask me questions about me that you want to know and I will tell you the answers...maybe.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Granny Takes A Trip

Huh! You gals must be confusing me with someone who has spare time on their hands ;)

Cooking??? Planning menus??? Good grief. If my poor mother was waiting on that kind of activity, it would be just in time for her 70th birthday, rather than her 60th!

Do you think I am like either the fabulous Martha or Millie????

No, I took the time-challenged route and booked her favourite restaurant for the party of all immediate adult family members, online-ordered flowers to be delivered on the day and phoned in an order for a decorated cake. I am nothing if not efficient with the phone and a mouse.

Don't get me wrong. I love to look at recipes and think about food but I am in the middle of a huge corporate training delivery. It leaves little or no time or energy for anything else.

I am loving the work and I am feeling totally accomplished and great whilst doing it so it is a great confidence booster after the last few months. However, it takes its toll in terms of the energy left for the rest of things in my life. I am just about keeping up with my teevee viewing but it is a struggle. Most nights, I am in a coma, asleep by 10pm. I have never slept like this in my life and I am attributing it to the Pr*zac.

I did make a trifle for the kids' party for Granny so I did make something. And I planned, paid for and booked her secret present from my brothers and myself which totally blew her away. She was shocked rigid and her face was a picture. Just the surprise I was aiming for.

Monday, March 05, 2007

There Is No Such Thing In Life As Normal

My new, cheery, all-loving and Zen attitude has been dented this week. I struggle with it every day.

On Sat. morning, I snapped and began shouting at the radio as the presenter spoke to a woman who had called in for a competition. He had asked her to tell him something interesting about her. She replied "Well, I have 3 children". At this, the air turned blue as I yelled obscenities at the poor defenceless radio. I was mainly horrified at the assumption of this woman that there was nothing else "interesting" about her life, other than the 3 children and I was all indignant, up on my high horse.

Would a man answer that question the same way??

Then I caught myself mid-swear-word and pulled back the tidal wave of wrath. I gave myself a mental slap and told myself so what?, that maybe they were the only shining things in her life and she deserved my empathy, rather than the swearing and my judgmental attitude.

See? I have not turned into a complete pollyanna. The real me is still lurking but she does not get out much.

I blame it on the lunar eclipse this weekend and all the planning I have been putting into my mother's 60th birthday celebration. As the only daughter, the expectation falls on me to make it an event and organise everything. Luckily I am medicated enough to be able to do it.