Twice this week, I have had to tell someone that my mum died suddenly and no, it was not the breast cancer but other metastasised tumours and yes, it was a terrible shock and no, she did not know at the end and yes, thank goodness it was quick. I know it has only been 3 months but at times it feels like 3 seconds and yet at other times, 3 years.
How can the map of my world be re-drawn so quickly? I don't know where I am.
I am trying to have an optimistic voice, like Dorothy, but it is so hard. This reminds me so much of Mum as we loved the Wizard of Oz and watched it so many times together.
I changed the profile photo from Miss Pops to an old photo from 1968 of me, my mum and my middle brother. She looks so young but that is because she was only 19.
It is one of my favourite photos but there are very few of us all together in those days as we did not own a camera. In 1968, Mum had not yet lost my baby sister at birth and had not had my youngest brother. She did not know what was ahead of her.
Actually, it is a blessing that none of us do.
You're out of the woods, you're out of the dark, you're out of the night;
Step into the sun, step into the light.