PCOS - check. Infertility - check. IVF - check. 43 years young - check. Sick of babydust - fricking double check. Join a Scottish infertile as she slowly swirls down the plughole. Now with added donor egg flava.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Fuck Off 2008, Hello 2009

Yes, I may be grieving and not really in the festive spirit and there is a lack of Xmas tree-age in my house but I have tinsel on picture frames, had 4 stockings hung up with gifts* and a lot of lovely cards, some with those lovely Par Avion stickers. But I am glad to see the back of 2008.

I hate all that year in review crap. They drive me batshit, even more than mommy bloggers doing the monthly paean to what their beloved child has done since the last boring paean.

2008 was quite shite. It is all my own fault as I hung myself by my own petard by saying my life was humdrum and I liked it like that. Hmmph. I take it all back. I like interesting, as in the Chinese curse "May you have an interesting life".

Anyhoo, I have had the very best and the ultimate of excuses for not meeting Xmas/festive obligations ie. my mother died last month. This, said with a sad face, can get you out of doing anything at this time of year haha.

I have ditched a lot of people and crap obligations during this festive season. Perhaps the perfect combination of psychological colonic irrigation/mourning detox. Soon to be advertised at your nearest spa. Just add bitter herbs and spiky twigs.

As you can tell, my sarcastic wit, previously honed to glinting sharpness by infertility, has now been lasered to the nth degree by my mother dying and leaving me in charge of all things festive and familial. Aaah, I must be at the anger stage....again.

So what I am trying to say in my own long-winded, barbed fashion....let's hope it is a Happy New Year for us all.

Lang may your lum reek.

* For me, Mr P, Miss Pops and my stepfather.


At 1:54 AM, Blogger Jess said...

I'm so sorry about your mother. Very sorry.

I hope 2009 sucks much, much less.

At 2:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so very sorry. For whatever it's worth, don't try to fight the anger. Although this verges on assvice, I know from my own experience that the other stages will come -- even "acceptance," despite the fact that right now you can't imagine a world where accepting your mother's death is possible.

Be gentle with yourself and know that a stranger across the Atlantic is thinking of you.

At 12:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hugging you from here. I hope 2009 is a better year for you.


At 2:58 PM, Blogger DD said...

Eek. Since I've committed both crimes in the batshit crazy department, I feel I first must apologize; and secondly I beg that we can still make out if I ever get out of the asshole of america.

Love you.

At 3:58 PM, Anonymous silene said...

I am sorry that 2008 was such crap for you. I truly hope that 2009 will bring you many good things.

Thinking of you from across the ocean.

At 8:49 PM, Anonymous T said...

Fuck off indeed my friend - here's to better times (or you know, good times - heh heh).



At 10:03 PM, Blogger Summer said...

I'm sorry about your mother. I hope 2009 will be less crappy.

At 10:35 PM, Blogger beagle said...

Oh dear P, how awful. I am sending you my best wishes for much happier days ahead and sending you and your family my love as you grieve this enormous loss.

At 11:45 PM, Blogger Thalia said...

Yup, 2008 was a fucking awful year for you. It's quite awful how many awful years you've had. I will join the rest of your hangers-on in saying I most sincerely hope 2009 sucks less.

At 5:47 AM, Blogger millie said...

I will do my very best to make sure 2009 sucks much less for you. Last year was a super sucky year for you. Here's to better times. Especially in May/June.

So FREAKIN' excited the Scots are coming.

At 9:38 PM, Blogger Lut C. said...

Boy, do you have reason to rant at 2008!
Wishing you a much happier 2009.

At 1:37 AM, Blogger Erin said...

I just saw your post and burst into tears. I can't imagine how much this must hurt.

I'm so tired of knowing so many people in pain. Why does every fucking moment have to be so hard?

I send you my deepest condolences. I'm so, so, so sorry.


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