Where to begin??

I am 39 years old and I have never seen a + HPT.

I guess I am not alone in that but come on! Not in 39 years?? Now I know puberty didn't hit until 10 so knock those off. Still, that does leave 29 freaking years- 29!!! I am your classic PCOS woman - short, fat and hairy. Kind of your hobbit genus but female haha! I can laugh now but it has taken a whole vale of tears to get to this point. Dark, lonely vale and l-o-n-g. Thankfully my fabulous friends tell me I have a beautiful smile. Uh-uh sure.

Anyhoo, years of hairiness and weight and no periods. Seems obvious now but I think there were too many drugs in GP surgeries in the 80s. Nothing else can explain it as it is so glaringly obvious.

Moving on - met Mr Pamplemousse at school, firm friends but no hanky-panky, slept around madly with a load of truly unsuitable wankers in my twenties, sobered up when I hit 30, realised Mr P was my soul-mate and I couldn't live without his geeky IT-style demeanour and readers, I married him. Ding-dong, went the church bells and we lived happily ever after right? Right? Sort of.

Phew! This blogging thing is exhausting. I need to lie down in a darkened room now and collect my thoughts. Thanks Oro and Bugs for welcoming me to the community. Tune in next time for the horror that is navigating the UK NHS fertility treatment system! All will be revealed but if you are of a nervous disposition, you may want to keep the smelling salts handy.

PS I will get round to the haberdashery and the shadow this obsession has cast over my life some time soon. Let me get the IF stuff out of the way first and then we will never speak of IF again. Hahaha! Yeah, right. What the frick is this blog for, hmmm?

Lets not hang about then...

A giant step for me. Been thinking about getting one for a while but can I stay faithful, committed, monogamous hahaha? It seems so easy when reading other blogs but now it's me. No pressure huh?

Ok tune in for the next exciting instalment and I will maybe come out from behind the sofa! Lots of woman-related stuff - marriage, haberdashery, gardening, IVF and general loonyness.