Spaghetti Junction

My brain is like spaghetti at the moment. If I was at work right now, I would be totally stressed out haha!

First of all, on the pregnancy front, we are almost not pregnant. Frankly, thank fuck. My HCG went from 3oo-something last Monday to 26 yesterday. No wonder I have been in the toilet emotions-wise. My body is trying to reverse so fast that everything is spinning.

I am still having residual pain (sharp at times) on the side where the ectopic is. The scan yesterday showed the mass is still there but my RE said that it will eventually be reabsorbed into my body. Eeew.

It is the same size, if not a little bigger than my ovary and pressed right on top of it hence the pain. It is more like bad ovary pain than anything else. I keep reminding myself that there is not much room in there and my ovary is protesting at the squatter. Get out, begone, leave me alone.

On the emotional side, I have been indulging in some very unhealthy emotional eating of the sugar kind. You will remember that prior to this DE cycle, I was all about the organic skimmmed milk, bottled water, healthy carbs, my body is a temple preparing to bear my beautiful child, etc, etc. Blech.

Well, that has pretty much fallen by the wayside again and it is all pretty much "What can I eat to make me feel good temporarily and then horribly sick as my blood sugar hits new terrifying highs??". So hence yesterday's gourmet menu (aided and abetted by a side trip to M&S on the way to the clinic):

6 pieces of caramel shortcake
2 iced fruit buns
sushi selection (with free bag of grapes when you spent over £2.50 on sushi)
umpteen cocktail mini sausages
cheese and onion crisps
bombay aloo
chicken dopiaza
pilau rice
onion bhaji nan bread
1 choc ice

Needless to say, by the time I staggered to bed after Big Love, I was ready to heave and was bleating piteously for the Rap-eze indigestion sweeties. Nobody's fault but my own.

However, I am not allowing this orgy of over-eating to continue. Miraculously, I am the same weight I was before I started this last cycle and it is time to re-focus on healthy eating again. Without a focus, I am lost so I have been busy this week.

We have picked a donor for SA, she has accepted, deposits are being paid this week and I am now on the medical documents paperchase for the clinic.

Things have moved fast as I am not prepared to wait for longer than necessary. The time frame should mean that it will be 3 months from the meth shot and hopefully, end of Sept/beginning of October, I will be healed and ready for this next go.

In between that, Deadwood, The Shield and Huff are returning to UK TV screens just to keep me happy. I mean I know I already have Big Love, Lost, CSI Everywhere and NYPD Blue (4 episodes a week!!) to occupy me but a girl can't have too much American TV to entertain her in times of emotional crises.

Oh, I just noticed that it is Independence Day today. I hope you are all enjoying yourself on a beach somewhere. I hate when nobody posts cos they are all on holiday. I imagine everyone doing glamorous things in the Hamptons, or on a yacht, or lounging by the side of a pool. Even in this country, the southern half are getting 90 degree temps where as per usual, here North of the border, torrential rain and thunder storms and lucky to be 70 degrees are the order of the day. No wonder we are all depressed here.