Pamplemousse

PCOS - check. Infertility - check. IVF - check. 43 years young - check. Sick of babydust - fricking double check. Join a Scottish infertile as she slowly swirls down the plughole. Now with added donor egg flava.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Can I Have an E for Ectopic, Please Bob?

After another day yesterday of bad cramps and brown sludge, I called the clinic this morning and they hauled me right in for bloodwork and a scan.

Funny how they can do HCG bloodwork lickety-split at a time like this, eh?

HCG is 482. They do not know if that is on the way up or down.

There was a lovely little embryo cosily snuggled in by my left tube (the blocked one).

More bloodwork Thursday AM and then methotrexate Thursday PM.

Like Thalia, I am to continue the hormones until then. It seems a lot like shutting the barn door after the horse has bolted.

5w5d and it is all over. Thank you for all your kind words to my previous post.

PS. Anyone notice the date? Shiver.

100 Comments:

At 6:45 PM, Anonymous Kath said...

Oh God, no, Pamplemousse. I'm so utterly sorry.

FUCK.

 
At 6:47 PM, Blogger Hoping said...

so sorry -- I am so sorry.

 
At 6:48 PM, Blogger Thalia said...

Ah shit. That is just absolute rottenness. I was so sure that this was going to be ok for you, that my luck had deserted me but that I could instead project it in your direction. Perhaps my luck is just anti-luck, instead. Yeah, that's probably it.

I'm so sorry my friend. Want to reschedule your trip down south and we can go get trashed together?

 
At 6:52 PM, Blogger EJW said...

I'm so sorry. I wish this weren't how it went.

 
At 6:54 PM, Blogger EJW said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 7:39 PM, Anonymous Manuela said...

No... no... NOOO!! FUCK! FUCK!

You know... when I read Thalia's news, at first I was sad and then I quickly became angry. With you... I bypassed sad completely. I just can't STAND to see all of us go through this SHIT again and again... it's so... so... randomly CRUEL.

P... when I stop shaking my fist at the universe on your behalf... the sadness will once again return to my heart... and I will definitely be thinking of you...

 
At 7:54 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...

Oh no. I am so very sorry.

 
At 8:21 PM, Anonymous amanda said...

No!!! The unfairness is astounding. I am so very sorry. You are in my thoughts.

 
At 8:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't comment very often, but can I just say FUCK for you. WTF is wrong with the universe.

I'm so sorry, fuck.

LEB

 
At 8:25 PM, Blogger Alli said...

I'm so sorry. I'm praying for you. :(

 
At 8:28 PM, Blogger Millie said...

NO NO NO NO NO.

This just can not be. This is so very, very wrong.

Say the word and I'm there with you and Thalia. Anti-luck be damned.

 
At 8:32 PM, Blogger Millie said...

Actually, here's a bit of assvice. Feel free to ignore. Skip the meth. Get the damn blocked tube out. Please. Do it for me.

 
At 8:32 PM, Blogger Fertile Soul said...

Oh, no P, i really thought this was going to work. I cant believe this is happening to you and Thalia. I'm sorry.

 
At 8:35 PM, Blogger Kris said...

It must be the evil, evil day. I got shit news myself. I'm so sorry this has happened to you.

 
At 8:36 PM, Anonymous Molly said...

Oh, God. I am absolutely crushed for you.

I'm so sorry. I'll be thinking of you.

 
At 9:06 PM, Anonymous pixi said...

This truly is a day from Hell.

Damn it, I really wish this weren't happening to you. I'm really sorry, P. It just sucks so much.

 
At 9:06 PM, Blogger Zarqa said...

Goddammit! I'm sorry.

 
At 9:06 PM, Blogger Ornery said...

There are just no words to adequately express the horrible unfairness of it all. I'm so, so sorry.

 
At 9:07 PM, Blogger MsPrufrock said...

Bastard nutfuck. I'm so dreadfully sorry P, I so wanted this to be it for you.

 
At 9:11 PM, Anonymous Jenn said...

I'm so so sorry. It's not fair. *hugs*

 
At 9:13 PM, Anonymous julianna said...

I am just heartsick for you and your family. I am so sorry.

 
At 9:14 PM, Blogger art-sweet said...

Oh CRAP. CRAPPITY CRAP CRAP.

NO FUCKING FAIR.

I'm so sorry, Pamplemousse. So god damn sorry.

 
At 9:16 PM, Blogger Summer said...

I guess when the universe is on a roll, it's just doesn't want to stop, does it?

Thinking of you...

 
At 9:17 PM, Blogger Nico said...

Oh no, P! I'm so, SO sorry. My thoughts, like everyone else's on here, are with you and Mr. P. I know that means little at a time like this, but I hope it helps just a smidge.

 
At 9:37 PM, Blogger Katie (WannaBeMom) said...

Oh Pamps o'mine. What I can do but tell you how much this is the shit. And I'm crying with you. And okay, okay, I've never met you but I feel like your my blood sister, and I just can't even express how much I think this sucks. I want to scream. All my love. You know that.

 
At 9:47 PM, Blogger Lisa said...

Oh no nononono NO! This is just so wrong and I'm so very very sorry. I'm thinking of you and the Mister and my heart is breaking.

 
At 9:47 PM, Blogger zhl said...

Oh, P. I am so, so sorry. I just can't understand why all this is happening, the date notwithstanding.

Thinking of you, and after crying into my cereal with Thalia's news, am now crying into my afternoon tea over yours.

Please try to be easy on yourself.

 
At 9:49 PM, Anonymous Carrie P said...

Hi. I lurk here frequently, but rarely post. This shitty news just made me want to speak up and add my "Fuck!! I'm sorry" to the chorus. This is just awful news ... thinking of you.

 
At 10:35 PM, Blogger MC said...

I'm so sorry, this is terrible. Thinking of you.

 
At 11:00 PM, Anonymous Lori said...

I'm so terribly sorry. None of this makes any sense and it all sucks so badly.
I'm thinking of you.

 
At 11:33 PM, Blogger Donna said...

Damn them for making you and Thalia wait! This is just not fair, not right, on so many levels. My heart is broken for you.

 
At 12:20 AM, Anonymous mm said...

I've been trying to post on your blog for two days, but blogger has only just now decided to let me say anything... In any case, FUCK. I'm so, so sorry. This is unbelievably unfair.

 
At 12:42 AM, Blogger Angie said...

And again, I am SO SORRY. I wish better for you.

 
At 1:08 AM, Blogger Milenka said...

I'm so sorry.

 
At 1:10 AM, Blogger tracey said...

I'm so sorry. This is terrible news. Terrible, fucking terrible news.

Tracey

 
At 1:15 AM, Blogger Avonlea said...

I'm in tears. I'm sorry, fuck, triple fuck. I can't stop shaking my head and crying.

 
At 1:20 AM, Anonymous annmarie said...

Ms. P. I am so sorry you have to go through this. I just don't get it. I just don't understand this shit. I am so sorry.

 
At 1:34 AM, Blogger K&M said...

I'm with Millie, PLEASE don't wait until Thursday. Get that tube outta there. We want to keep you around.

Huge hugs, I know how hard ectopics are,
Kate

 
At 1:41 AM, Anonymous T said...

I'm so incredibly sorry my friend.

"it seems so unfair
I want to cry"

 
At 1:50 AM, Blogger Beth said...

Oh P, my heart is breaking for you. Its just so damn unfair.

 
At 2:10 AM, Blogger WonderMama said...

Bloody fucking, fucking hell! I'm so sorry P.
The symptoms of my ectopic mirror yours exactly, and mine was treated with methotrexate too. Please email me if you want to talk about it.

 
At 2:17 AM, Blogger DeadBug said...

No. No, no, no.

NO,

--Bugs

 
At 2:27 AM, Blogger Sparkle said...

Sorry about this turn of events, it's just revolting.

Take care.

 
At 4:19 AM, Anonymous Sue / Holdingpattern said...

I am so sorry. Ectopics suck so much. I know, I had two. Both treated with two shots of meth a piece, and both still ruptured and ended up as emergency surgeries.

Promise me that if you so much as feel like you have to fart that you will get to the Emergency Room, even if you have no external bleeding. Ruptured ectopics can be acute or they can be slow. They can be very painful or just a tad uncomfortable. They can have tons of bleeding or none at all (that you can see anyway). But either way they can be totally fatal, so please DO NOT go anywhere far away from an ER. If you have even a remote feeling that something is really wrong, get to that ER. And if you feel like you have gas, are constipated, or have any kind of abdominal cramps -- GO TO THE ER!

Be careful.

Hoping for you.... And so very sorry this has happened.

 
At 5:00 AM, Blogger Ova Girl said...

Oh no Pamplemousse. I'm so sorry. Thinking of you.

 
At 5:27 AM, Blogger Sue said...

I am so sorry, Ms. P. This fucking sucks.

 
At 5:30 AM, Blogger tonya said...

That is just royally shitty. I am so sorry you're going through it.

 
At 5:42 AM, Anonymous Meri-ann said...

I wish there was something I could say or do to help, but there just isn't and I'm so sorry.
It's just not fair....

 
At 6:11 AM, Anonymous Lynnette said...

Goddamn it...what is wrong in the universe? I'm so unbelievably sad for you right now. So so sorry...

 
At 7:06 AM, Blogger the waiting line said...

WTF is going on?!?! I am so sorry pamplemousse.

 
At 10:15 AM, Blogger DrSpouse said...

Oh, that's just horrible. Worse than horrible. Can't imagine how you must feel.

 
At 10:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry. Please be careful and take Millie and Susan's advice.

Bonnie.

 
At 11:30 AM, Blogger Kim said...

Oh no. I'm so sorry. I hope your okay. I'm thinking of you.

 
At 12:14 PM, Blogger Tertia said...

I am so very sorry. It is all so unfair.

Much love to you
Tertia

 
At 1:31 PM, Blogger One Mother's Journey said...

I'm so very sorry.

 
At 1:52 PM, Blogger Vacant Uterus said...

Oh, P. I'm so awfully sorry. I wish this weren't happening to you.

 
At 1:56 PM, Anonymous swisschard said...

I wanted this to work, for you and also for me, for a sense of fairness and due and happiness deserved.
I know you wanted it even more.
Adding my misery and empathy to the steaming pile.

 
At 2:40 PM, Blogger Vivien said...

I have no idea what to say, but I never thought I could be so upset for someone I have never even met.
I'll have a b for bollocks, Bob, I think and confuse our American friends at least.
I am so, so sorry.

 
At 2:43 PM, Blogger MoMo said...

I've been thinking of you since I read your last post and I was hoping so hard that it wasn't going to end this way. I am so sorry. This is just not fair--it makes me so angry! Please take care of yourself and know that we are here for you.

 
At 3:07 PM, Blogger PJ said...

Oh, P. I'm so sorry.

 
At 3:30 PM, Blogger Julie said...

Oh no! I'm so very very sorry!

 
At 3:30 PM, Anonymous Ellen K. said...

I'm so sorry. That's horrible... and so unfair.

 
At 4:58 PM, Blogger Claudia said...

Oh no, no, no. I'm so sorry, Pamplemousse. This is SO unfair. Please take good care of yourself. Thinking of you...

 
At 5:08 PM, Blogger S said...

Oh FUCK. Motherfuck. I am so sorry. I know that words mean jack shit right now, but please know that I'm thinking of you......it's just so fucking unfair.....

 
At 5:10 PM, Blogger Krista said...

I did not post yesterday because sorry seems so very inadequate. But that is all I have. You don't know me. I have never met you. And I am so very, very sorry.

 
At 5:18 PM, Blogger electriclady said...

I am so, so sorry. This is so unbelievably fucked up.

 
At 5:28 PM, Blogger Sarah said...

There is nothing that I can say that will be at all meaningful for you except that I send a big hug and lots of love to try to get through this incredibly difficult time. It is horrible to have to go through and life just sucks right now.

 
At 5:40 PM, Blogger fisher queen said...

I am so so sorry.

 
At 6:03 PM, Anonymous Alexandra Infertile Gourmet said...

Oh no you too....I just got here after reading Thalia. I am so sorry. Oh the disappointment. My heart goes out to you. Take care of yourself and know that I am thinking of you.

 
At 6:27 PM, Blogger Anna said...

Well, that sucks beyond belief. I am sorrier than words could ever express.

 
At 6:33 PM, Blogger Mellie said...

Jesus f'ing Christ. WHY!!!

I am so sorry dear Pamplemousse. It should not have turned out like this. I can barely stand it.

 
At 10:33 PM, Blogger squarepeg said...

motherfuck. I'm so sorry.

 
At 12:08 AM, Anonymous Julie said...

None of this makes any sense at all. It's just outrageously wrong, and I am so sorry you have to endure it.

 
At 1:42 AM, Blogger Avonlea said...

I just wanted to say you're still very much in my thoughts I hope all goes well on Thursday - as well as it can.

 
At 1:57 AM, Blogger ninaB said...

Oh P! I am so sorry...it seems like such an inadequate thing to say.

What the f*ck is wrong with this universe?

 
At 3:03 AM, Blogger UtRus said...

crap. fucking crap. pamplemousse, i am so sorry. i am, however, extremely grateful that you are closely and carefully monitored and that an ectopic can be dealt with promptly. i wish you strength. you will be ok.

 
At 6:31 AM, Blogger Coloratura said...

I'm very sorry, my dear. Take care of yourself...

 
At 12:21 PM, Blogger rockmama-in-waiting said...

So, so sorry. Take good care of yourself.

 
At 2:02 PM, Blogger Sami said...

Dangit... I'm so sorry to hear this news. I had feared another ectopic when I went for my scan... I hope the methotrexate treats you kindly and does the trick quickly and efficiently. Again I am so so very sorry. This truly stinks.

 
At 3:59 PM, Anonymous Orodemniades said...

Fucking hell. Just...take care of yourself, okay?

 
At 6:27 PM, Blogger Chee Chee said...

I can't believe this. How freakin' awful! Oh hon, I am so sorry.

 
At 10:51 PM, Blogger The Lioness said...

You don't know me from Adam but I am so sorry you lost your baby. Too much sadness abounds these days, too much sadness. Life isn't abt fairness but this seems a bit too much as well.

 
At 3:14 AM, Blogger Avonlea said...

I hope you're hanging in there sweetie.

 
At 4:16 AM, Blogger linda said...

Oh this is just downright wrong. I am so sorry. I don't know what to say. My heart is breaking for you.

 
At 12:36 PM, Blogger katty said...

I'm terribly sorry.

 
At 1:51 PM, Anonymous Mary Scarlet said...

Oh no, I am so very sorry. I am thinking of you.

 
At 2:13 PM, Blogger Calliope said...

oh no. I am so so sorry for your loss. It just doesn't make sense at all.
Will be thinking of you...

 
At 5:27 PM, Blogger Just another Jenny said...

I am so sorry this happened. IF is so hard already without additional loss. My heart goes out to you.

 
At 9:40 PM, Blogger ms pickled eggs said...

I'm so, so sorry.

 
At 3:35 AM, Anonymous Truly Tested said...

Oh no...I am so sorry to read this...I am thinking of you and wishing you strength.

 
At 10:26 PM, Blogger Tazzy said...

I am so very sorry. This is friggin' unfair.

 
At 2:14 AM, Blogger moo said...

Fuck. I cannot express how pissed I am. I am so sorry Ms. Moose. I am so so sorry.

 
At 4:00 AM, Blogger InDueTime said...

Pample, I am so so so sorry. I will continue to think and pray for you sweetie. :-(

 
At 12:10 PM, Blogger N said...

I though I had commented already and only wanted to come back to see how you were doing. BUT, I hadn't even commented yet.

Sweety I am so so sorry that this is going to absolute hell. Kick the fucking devil in his small parts down there.

Sending many hugs from over here.

Nina

 
At 3:38 AM, Blogger Sue said...

Just checking to see how you're doing, Ms. P., and to let you know I'm thinking of you.

 
At 5:23 AM, Blogger sube said...

I'm just catching up after a week away, and I'm so utterly sad to read your news. It just sucks. Simply sucks. I'm sorry.

 
At 12:54 PM, Anonymous T said...

Just checking in to see how you are - thinking of you.

 
At 8:29 PM, Blogger Demeter said...

I had not been here a while. I am so sorry Pampelmouse, I had so much hope for you. This really sucks! How can these things happen?I don't get it.

 
At 3:58 PM, Anonymous Julia S. said...

I am so terribly sorry.

 
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