Pamplemousse

PCOS - check. Infertility - check. IVF - check. 43 years young - check. Sick of babydust - fricking double check. Join a Scottish infertile as she slowly swirls down the plughole. Now with added donor egg flava.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Still

Still alive as I am breathing.

Still crying although not necessarily compatible with breathing.

Still in pain.

Still pregnant as HCG still rising.

Still waiting to wake up from this bad dream.

Still alive.

52 Comments:

At 12:41 PM, Blogger Susie said...

I am so sorry for what you're going through, P. I'm thinking of you.

 
At 12:55 PM, Anonymous Lynnette said...

OMG. Its like Millie all over again! Please consider having the surgery...I've never been so happy to have my tubes gone, as I am right now. I swear you won't regret it. Wishing I was there to give you a hug. So sorry...

 
At 1:05 PM, Blogger Avonlea said...

I wish I could do something to take the pain away from you. I wish I could wave a wand and make it all better.

My heart is with you.

 
At 1:06 PM, Anonymous annmarie said...

Oh Ms. P., I am so sorry you have to go through this crap. I truly am. Your body just doesn't know what's going on...keep us posted.

 
At 1:31 PM, Blogger Vivien said...

Poor, poor you. I'm so sorry, and I have no idea what to say. Just thinking of you so much.

 
At 2:04 PM, Anonymous Sassy said...

I'm thinking of you and hoping this gets sorted out soon. It all sounds so scary. Hang in there.

 
At 2:20 PM, Blogger Katie (WannaBeMom) said...

Oh babe. I'm so so sorry. This sucks. Oh babe. I'm going to have a cry now too. Just not fair. I'm thinking of you. You know that.

 
At 2:36 PM, Anonymous Molly said...

Thanks for letting us know. We're all thinking of you.

 
At 2:47 PM, Anonymous Jenn said...

*hugs*

 
At 3:05 PM, Blogger DD said...

What is your doctor doing? I would think the ectopic would have been through surgery by now. I'm sorry if I am painfully oblivious.

 
At 3:44 PM, Anonymous mm said...

Still thinking of you and wishing this were easier.

 
At 3:47 PM, Blogger zhl said...

Oh dear P, thanks for updating and letting us now you are alive, but I'm so worried for you with your rising HCG. So sorry you're still enduring such crap.

 
At 4:02 PM, Blogger Mellie said...

Dear Pamplemousse, I'm so terribly sorry. It's completely awful that even the worst things can't be easy. Take care of yourself as best you can. Wishing I could do more.

 
At 4:20 PM, Blogger Em said...

Pamplemousse - there's nothing to say except this is so unfair and I am thinking of you.

 
At 4:49 PM, Blogger Teendoc said...

I am so sorry this is still progressing. Can't they do a quick laparascopic procedure since your ectopic is ovarian? This is so dangerous and emotionally overwhelming for you. My thoughts are with you.

 
At 5:12 PM, Blogger Thalia said...

Oh goodness I'm so sorry. I can't believe this is still going on! Hoping they start to intervene more radically now. Do you need us to nag your doctors?

 
At 5:22 PM, Anonymous Sarah said...

Thinking about you and I am sorry that you are still going through this. I hope it will be over soon so that you can start to heal.

 
At 7:42 PM, Blogger N said...

Oh how incredibly horrible this is. I am thinking of you and wish I could do something? Can I? This is just so unfair. I hope something will happen soon...

Hugs!

 
At 8:23 PM, Blogger Anna said...

I am so, so sorry. This is just so fucked. I wish you every happiness, and that you one day have your child. I'm really upset for you. Not fair.

 
At 9:06 PM, Blogger fisher queen said...

I am thinking of you, and am trying not to worry based on Millie's experience. Sorry if you've already done this, but please get pushy with the doctors? I hope they are taking good care of you.

 
At 9:12 PM, Anonymous Lori said...

I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. I hope it gets resolved quickly.
You're in my thoughts.

 
At 9:13 PM, Blogger Krista said...

Pamplemousse I am so very sorry. God sometimes life is just all wrong.

 
At 10:09 PM, Blogger Angie said...

I am so sorry you are going through this. I wish there was something I could do. I hope things get better. What is your doc doing?

 
At 10:14 PM, Blogger Zarqa said...

I'm sorry things haven't resolved by now. Thinking of you.

 
At 10:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh sweetpea this is awful. I'm so sorry that you are in this hell.

Alchemilla

 
At 11:07 PM, Anonymous amanda said...

I am so, so sorry. I'm thinking of you so much. I wish I could do more.

 
At 11:15 PM, Blogger Karen said...

I am so sorry you are going through this. It's just so unfair, I wish I could help in some way. Thinking of you and hoping everything resolves soon.

 
At 11:57 PM, Blogger Lut C. said...

Thank you for the update. I confess I was a little worried, as were many others I'm sure.

Today, someone told me I should be patient. Someone who should know better. I won't tell you anything of the sort.

I wish you strength, both physical and emotional. I hope this nightmare is over soon.

 
At 12:36 AM, Anonymous Meri-ann said...

Oh you poor love, I'm so sorry that you are having to endure such pain, both physical and emotional and everything in between.
Thinking of you....

 
At 1:28 AM, Blogger Donna said...

What does your doctor say? He's just going to leave you be unless something horrible happens? That's not going to fly with this group.

 
At 1:33 AM, Blogger Millie said...

Damn. Damn. Damn.

If you feel any pain, ANY PAIN, promise me you will go straight to the ER. I'm thinking of you so much and hating that you're going through this.

I'm practically begging you to have the surgery now. It will be over then. Don't do another dose of meth. Trust me on this.

So not how it's supposed to go. Damn.

 
At 1:43 AM, Anonymous HoldingPattern said...

I hope you'll be okay, my dear. Hang in there. I wish I could take away the pain.

 
At 3:28 AM, Blogger Milenka said...

I'm so sorry. Thinking of you...

 
At 4:16 AM, Blogger Sue said...

I am so sorry Ms. P. The loss shouldn't have to drag out like this. Hang in there, and I'll pray it's over soon so you can start feeling like you again.

 
At 7:30 AM, Blogger Sparkle said...

Sorry that this is still going on.

Take care.

 
At 10:25 AM, Anonymous Kath said...

Dear Pamplemousse, I'm so sorry that pain is being heaped upon pain. May this horrible nightmare end soon.

Sending much love from across the Channel.

 
At 3:09 PM, Blogger Kris said...

I am so sorry this is dragging on for you, as well. I hope you wake from the nightmare soon.

 
At 4:47 PM, Blogger Beagle said...

I am just so very sorry. Thinking of you and Mr. P during this heartbreaking time.

 
At 9:33 PM, Anonymous Linda said...

OMG, that was heart breaking to read. I am so so so very sorry that you are going through this hell. I'm thinking of you each and every single day.

 
At 10:45 PM, Blogger sube said...

It hurts like hell, doesn't it? Until a few days ago I had no idea. I hate that any of us have to go through this. You're in my thoughts.

 
At 12:22 AM, Blogger elle said...

I'm so so so so sorry.

 
At 12:32 AM, Blogger Nico said...

I am so sorry that you're still going through this. I hope that it is over soon, without too much more pain, physical or mental. Thinking of you!

 
At 12:53 AM, Anonymous Sarah said...

Still thinking of you today and hope that you are doing OK. There isn't much more I can say except that I send lots of love your way.

 
At 3:51 AM, Anonymous Manuela said...

Bloodyhell... Oh, darling P... I'm so so sorry...

As much as I wanted this to work out for you... is how much I now want this to be over.

Much love.

 
At 11:56 AM, Blogger Betty said...

Horrible stuff my dear. I hope your pain subsides.

 
At 2:12 PM, Blogger Calliope said...

So sorry. will be thinking of you...

 
At 2:20 PM, Blogger moo said...

I'm sorry for this on top of everything that went before. I hope you are feeling bettersoon.. there is much love for you out here in the world.. Take care.

 
At 9:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry. So very sorry.
Bonnie.

 
At 9:47 PM, Anonymous Orodemniades said...

I'm so sorry this is being so dragged out. It's beyond horrible, and I hope it's ending as I write this.

 
At 12:08 AM, Blogger Vacant Uterus said...

Oh my dear. I'm so sorry. I'm sending you all the love and prayers and good feelings I can.

xo

 
At 12:28 AM, Blogger the waiting line said...

. . . so sorry. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you. I hope this takes a turn for the better SOON . . . NOW.

 
At 2:01 AM, Anonymous T said...

I'm, so sorry dear Pamplemousse, so sorry.

 

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