Pamplemousse

PCOS - check. Infertility - check. IVF - check. 43 years young - check. Sick of babydust - fricking double check. Join a Scottish infertile as she slowly swirls down the plughole. Now with added donor egg flava.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Rain on my parade

We knew it was a long shot - my age, poor response, disalignment of the universe. I woke up this morning and my first conscious thought was "they are all dead". I could not shake that feeling and it was confirmed by phone 2 hours later.

Only one of the 2 mature eggs fertilized and 2 were immature.

The chosen one fertilized abnormally. The embryologist said that either too many sperm had their wicked way with it or it was just a bad egg. I hope it was the daisychain party in the petri dish that was the problem as I like to think something has been having some fun at my expense.

I felt worse today after my post-retrieval euphoria yesterday. More pain, more dizziness, more nausea. I felt even worse after I fainted in the hall and crashed through Mr P's study door. Cue CDs falling off shelves and a small earthquake being monitored in Eastern Scotland. He should just be grateful I didn't crush his new synth. The nurse at the hospital blamed the after-effects of the anaesthesia and the shock of the bad news this morning. I am just glad that I have the rest of the week off work to recover from all my bruises.

Tomorrow we are having a post-mortem of this cycle with the doctor. She is really nice but I am dreading the conversation. I am pissed off crying in hospitals. No, make that pissed off crying in general.

16 Comments:

At 9:52 PM, Anonymous Jenn said...

I am so so very sorry honey. *hugs and cake*

 
At 10:14 PM, Blogger TK said...

I'm so sorry

 
At 10:36 PM, Blogger Internal Spring said...

Fucking universe!

I'll cry for you, I've got a few extra tears to spare.

 
At 1:48 AM, Blogger Suz said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 1:49 AM, Blogger Suz said...

I'm so, so sorry. This sounds so much like my cycle and I know how badly it hurts. I fainted after my cycle too but hit my nose on the toilet. Not a good move. Please take good care of yourself.

 
At 2:40 AM, Anonymous amanda said...

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I'm so very sorry.

 
At 9:44 AM, Blogger MC said...

So sorry, I wish things had of turned out better.

 
At 10:19 AM, Blogger ankaisa said...

I'm so sorry. It's not fun when they can not say for sure what was the problem.

 
At 1:11 PM, Blogger MsPrufrock said...

I'm sorry...I too am tired of crying at hospitals and various other appointments. Would someone please tell THEM that looking at me with such extreme pity when I'm crying just makes it worse? I hope they have some answers for you.

 
At 6:43 PM, Blogger DeadBug said...

My heart is twisted up in knots for you; I am so, so sorry that the news was not good.

I am here and thinking of you.

Much love,
Bugs

 
At 8:42 PM, Blogger penelope said...

So sorry - how utterly frustrating. Sending you squeezes - I like squeezing pamplemousses - hope you're feeling better physically soon since that is awful as well.
take care of yourself

 
At 12:27 AM, Anonymous thalia said...

Oh sweetie I'm so sorry. What awful, disappointing news. What kind of cake would you like?

 
At 3:19 AM, Blogger ms pickled eggs said...

I'm really, really sorry.

 
At 6:53 AM, Blogger Millie said...

I'm soooo very sorry. Take good care of yourself. Thinking of you.

 
At 3:34 PM, Anonymous Julianna said...

I am so sorry.

 
At 3:06 PM, Blogger Kath said...

Oh.Fuck.

I am really sorry.

 

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