Bloating along..singing this song

Day 4 of stims and day whatevah of downregging. I have given up forever the notion of breathing through my nose again in this lifetime. Between the Synarel nose spray and the sodium benzoate in the beta blockers, my nasal membranes are truly like chopped liver. The snoring at night isn't bothering me though hahhaha!

My first follie check is tomorrow. It has been a full year since my last injectibles cycle but the dread of the follie check has not dissipated. You probably think whats the deal?

I did 6 Gonal-f cycles, of which only 4 staggered to trigger and 2 were cancelled due to poor response. The 4 that just made it to trigger were only ever 1 follie and out of those 4, 3 cycles were on the bad tube side. Yeah, yeah, I heard the peptalk from the nurse that your tube waggles over to the other side and can suck the egg over. Yeah, right!!

I am thinking I need to find some of that Pollyanna attitude to keep me going. Not too much cos then I go too far over the other way and start thinking maybe this time, my ovaries will respond. Unfortunately I then want to kill myself when they don't.

I think it is time for some light horrorscope reading and a little decaff meditation.