Pamplemousse

PCOS - check. Infertility - check. IVF - check. 43 years young - check. Sick of babydust - fricking double check. Join a Scottish infertile as she slowly swirls down the plughole. Now with added donor egg flava.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

That Joke isn't Funny Any More

The title says it all. The universe is fucking with too many people at the moment. That would include me too.

I have been doing real well at the weekends, trying hard not to succumb to the siren call of the duvet. I have been making huge efforts to get out and about, be a busy bee and ignore any feelings of blah.

Yesterday I visited a little tearoom just down the road from my house. A light lunch with Mr P, to be followed by the usual errands on a Saturday. This little tearoom is in the middle of nowhere and is usually most frequented by grannies out for a drive in the country. It was lovely and cosy and just what the doctor ordered.

The doorbell jangles and the door opens and a woman enters with a 9 year-old and a 2 month-old. No sign of Dad. An older lady joins them. The woman then proceeds to order for everybody and once that is done, sits at the next table, slap bang next to me.

She then proceeds to very elegantly and discreetly breast-feed the baby. I am about to die with longing and jealousy and bitterness. I only wanted to eat my minestrone soup and granary bread and have a nice cup of tea. I just want to curl up and die.

The father of the family then joined them. This is where I really wanted to die. It is one of my ex-boyfriends. The red-haired one. The one before Mr P. The one that really broke my heart into a million pieces. He said we were too serious and he could not handle it. It did not stop him marrying this woman 6 months after we broke up and having 2 children with her, the latest being the 2 month old. Both of them now aged 40.

I turned my head away and ate my bitter soup.

32 Comments:

At 3:04 PM, Blogger Susie said...

Good God, does it never let up? I am so sorry. We all have to deal with the random new mother on the bus and the babies in the supermarket. But I don't think we ever get used to the way the universe sometimes makes it completely personal.

I'm thinking of you.

 
At 3:18 PM, Blogger zhl said...

Oh, P, I think you may have been able to hear my groan all the way across the Atlantic. That sucks. It's bad enough to see some random person with all that you want, but to see someone you once wanted those same things with--that's truly painful.

So sorry your nice Saturday was ruined. Hope Sunday improves a bit.

 
At 5:05 PM, Anonymous B. Mare said...

Oh, for fuckssakes. I really am beginning to think there is something in the water, or like, a virus of doom in the air. What awful timing, and just....oh honey, I am sorry. I'm slurping tea of bitterness in sympathy.

 
At 6:37 PM, Blogger Lut C. said...

"... I don't want to spread any blasphemous rumours,
but I think that God has a sick sense of humour,
and when I die,
I expect to find him laughing ...".

Not a song about IF, but this is spot on.

 
At 7:09 PM, Anonymous Jenn said...

I'm so sorry hon. That had to just suck.

 
At 7:43 PM, Anonymous wessel said...

I can't believe it--what a shitty thing to have happen. You'd think that if Gd isn't going to give you a baby right away, He could at least let you eat your *#@*&!ing soup in peace.

So sorry.

 
At 8:21 PM, Blogger Anna said...

Well, that was a dreadful experience. I'm so sorry you were exposed to that. I'm hoping your Sunday was better.

I just came here through Manuela's blog, so I need to get caught up but I just wanted to say hi. Tea and sympathy to you.

 
At 10:41 PM, Blogger chris said...

That's probably the worst infertile moment I've ever heard. I'm sorry.

Thanks for the kind mention--it means a lot.

Take care.

 
At 10:58 PM, Anonymous pixi said...

That's about as "in your face" as it gets. Sorry you had to endure that. How completely awful.

 
At 11:06 PM, Blogger fisher queen said...

Oh NO that is awful. Bitter soup indeed. Man, I wish we could just beat someone up over this you know? Have a nice brawl and problem solved. But nooo...

 
At 12:11 AM, Blogger Suz said...

That's horrible - such bad timing. It just sucks.

 
At 1:08 AM, Blogger Kristi said...

Ugh- that's awful. So sorry you had to endure that. There should be baby free zones where only us infertiles can congregate, and be able to enjoy lunch, dinner, or a drink without having to see some adorable baby being cooed over by adoring parents. Life just isn't fair in so many ways...

 
At 1:10 AM, Blogger Kristi said...

PS: Your Smiths reference was perfect for this crappy situation.

 
At 3:15 AM, Blogger Millie said...

Doh, that just stinks. At least both of my crazy red-headed exes have had the decency not to procreate. I hope your weekend got much better.

 
At 11:09 AM, Blogger Sinead said...

Thank you for writing so honestly about this stuff. I have got so much out of your and and all the other IF blogs that I have started my own at http://badcold.blogpot.com

What happened after you ate your soup?

 
At 3:21 PM, Blogger Katie (WannaBeMom) said...

OH my PM. What the hell? I think we should all go away someplace together over the holidays so we can avoid all these little scenes that are so distressing. We'll drink tea or manhattans or whatever we the hell we want.

 
At 4:59 PM, Blogger Sinead said...

re earlier comment of course that address should be blogspot not blogpot which sounds like an insult!

 
At 5:08 PM, Blogger JennaM said...

Fuck. That's all I have to say about that.

Not funny at'all.

 
At 6:21 PM, Anonymous T said...

Good God honey - I'm so fucking sorry. How hideous.

 
At 6:43 PM, Blogger Donna said...

Talk about rubbing salt in the wound! There ought to be No Baby sections in restaurants. Seriously.

 
At 9:56 PM, Blogger Mellie said...

Jesus, P, how bloody awful. Good for you for not just running out on the spot - I don't think I could have sat there. There's got to be some kind of karmic payback coming, right?

 
At 10:55 PM, Anonymous thalia said...

Shit that sucks. Did the ex recognise you? Did you secretly spit into their soups while they weren't looking?

Well, at least you got Mr P out of the deal. I hear he's quite a good thing.

 
At 11:48 PM, Anonymous Manuela said...

GAAAHH! OUCH... I felt that one right in the gut. I'm so sorry, P... that truly truly sucks copious amounts of very runny poo.

Just nasty.

 
At 12:34 AM, Blogger ninaB said...

NOOOO!
That is too awful. Horrible beyond words.
nina

 
At 2:23 AM, Blogger Zarqa said...

OMG, that does sound awful. I can just imagine...having to smile, even ooo and ahh over the little ones. At times I'm just overwhelmed by how insincere I've had to become in situations like this (not that I've been in that situation...yet)
Hope it lets up for you soon.

 
At 3:44 AM, Anonymous Lori said...

Seriously, how hard is it to catch a break around here??? I'm so sorry you found yourself in such a lousy situation. I hope you've recovered.

 
At 8:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi,
I am a fellow infertile who also reads Fertililey Challenged. I wanted to alert you that Fertililey challenged has been cut and pasted on to some guys' blog. http://jaileer.blogspot.com/
if you could let your friend know I am sure she would appreciate it.

 
At 5:49 PM, Blogger 40 Mournings & Night said...

Well that's just awful!

Too bad for her, though. She got the kids, but you got the guy.

 
At 2:21 AM, Blogger Ova Girl said...

Oh no. I'm sorry. That sucks. That would totally put me off my soup.

 
At 5:24 AM, Blogger MC said...

That is so fucked. I hate it when one of us is coping and that kind of shit is thrown in our faces.

 
At 4:58 PM, Anonymous mm said...

Oh shit. Fertile families are bad enough but an ex boyfriend to boot? Did you pour a bit of rum into that tea? So sorry your Saturday was compromised. Hoping that next week is a giant improvement.

 
At 7:15 PM, Blogger amyesq said...

Ye Gods. I was following your entry thinking "yeah, that sucks oh and I bet the damn kids are going to run all over and interrupt her nice time and oh, great like she needs someone BFing her baby right in her face, how sucky and OH MOTHER OF GOD NO WAY!!" Like Chris said, I think that is like the worst thing I have ever heard. I am so sorry.

As soon as I get elected to the SP I will pass a law stating that your ex and his family must move to John O'Groats.

 

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