Pamplemousse

PCOS - check. Infertility - check. IVF - check. 43 years young - check. Sick of babydust - fricking double check. Join a Scottish infertile as she slowly swirls down the plughole. Now with added donor egg flava.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

One is the Loneliest Number

No good news from the Pamplemousse household.

Despite the apparent 4 mature follicles, only one egg was retrieved. I gather that retrieval was very difficult and I am still bleeding 24 hours later to prove it. I came round in the recovery room, still wearing the oxygen mask.

Our one plucky little egg was ICSI'd but did not make it. It was doing well yesterday afternoon but by this morning, it had expired.

One IVF cycle not making it to transfer is unlucky but two...just devastating. This is pretty much the end of the road for us.

33 Comments:

At 2:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am sorry. I have been disappointed in this difficult process too, and I know that even the stiffest drinks only postpone the heartache. Know that you are not alone, and that we are hoping you will recover... when you feel like recovering.
Although you will need some shuttered-down time, let us know it you thinking about moving on to the other possibilties for children that do exist. I always believed that it would be possible for me "by hook or by crook" (although not by standard nook). There are stories you have probably read. If you do decide that you want children despite these sad side-steps, you can. It will take longer, it will require rethinking your genetic stake.
In any case, whatever your choices, you have my commiseration.

 
At 2:17 PM, Blogger zhl said...

Oh, Pamplemousse, I am so sorry. That is just horrible. I wish there was something I could do, at least send you cup of tea. I'll send you a virtual cup.

 
At 2:27 PM, Blogger Susie said...

Oh, no, honey I am so sorry. What a heartbreak. I wish there was something I could do. Big hugs to you.

 
At 2:52 PM, Anonymous mm said...

Fuck. This is so devastating, I know. My heart goes out to you.

 
At 2:54 PM, Anonymous Molly said...

Oh, shit. I'm so sorry.

 
At 2:55 PM, Anonymous Jenn said...

Oh no, I'm so so sorry. *hugs* and cake. And vodka.

 
At 3:57 PM, Blogger Suz said...

I'm so, sorry and am thinking of you.

 
At 4:54 PM, Blogger PJ said...

Oh Pamplemousse, I'm so sorry. There are no words to express the awfulness of this situation. My thoughts are with you.

 
At 5:16 PM, Anonymous amanda said...

Fuck. I am so very sorry. What an beyond sucky day. Have I said how much I hate this shit? Thinking of you.

 
At 6:05 PM, Anonymous thalia said...

I am so very sorry. It is indeed devastating news. I cannot imagine what it feels like. My thoughts are with you.

 
At 6:16 PM, Blogger Em said...

Sorry Pamplemousse. There's not much I can say but I am thinking of you and really hope that you can move on through this next phase.

 
At 6:18 PM, Anonymous T said...

I'm so very sorry Pamplemousse, so sorry.

 
At 6:19 PM, Blogger Claudia said...

I'm so, so sorry, Pamplemousse. This must be so devastating. I wish there was some magical, positive thing I could say that would make a difference, but I know there's not. Just know that I'm thinking of you and hoping you can find light in this darkness.

 
At 6:23 PM, Blogger DeadBug said...

Crying for you, Mousse. I wish I knew what to say, but all I can do is cry and hope that you can find some solace in each other right now.

Much love,

Bugs

 
At 6:50 PM, Anonymous B. Mare said...

I feel like punching something, hard. This shit is so goddamn unfair. I am so sorry, Mousse friend. I wish like anything it could have gone better. I'm around if you want to email...

 
At 7:48 PM, Blogger Donna said...

Sorry doesn't begin to cover it. Indeed, you are not alone, try not to close yourself off to the support that's there for you in this next difficult phase.

 
At 11:24 PM, Blogger amyesq said...

Oh, dammit! I can't believe you had to go through all that crap to get nothing! You must be so infuriated right now. I am so sorry, honey.

 
At 11:56 PM, Blogger Panda said...

There has been so much bad news today and its just all so unfair.

I wish I had a magic wand and could make this all better for you.

 
At 12:15 AM, Blogger Zarqa said...

Dammit, that sucks! I'm so sorry and I hope you find some semblance of peace soon.

 
At 1:58 AM, Blogger Lisa said...

Nothing I can say to make any of this better in any way, but I wanted to add my support. I'm coming out of lurk mode to say that this is horrible and unfair and I'm thinking of you.

 
At 3:21 AM, Anonymous Susan/holdingpattern said...

I am so very sorry, Pamplemousse. You must be devastated. And I am so sorry you went through such a hellish ordeal. I hope your body recovers soon. Mentally, I know it will take you longer. But please konw that I am thinking about you, I care about you very much, and we all offer you all our support.

 
At 3:28 AM, Anonymous Julianna said...

I am so very, very sorry.

 
At 7:17 AM, Blogger Ova Girl said...

So sorry. This is bitterly disappointing. Hoping that you are in a nurturing space with chocolate and tea on tap.

It's not fair.

 
At 8:49 AM, Blogger MC said...

I'm sorry Pamplemousse. I know there is nothing I an say, I'm angry and sad about your news.

 
At 2:55 PM, Blogger Larisa said...

I am so sorry. So so sorry.

 
At 5:30 PM, Blogger Ivy O said...

Oh no! You were so supportive of me; I'm sorry that I haven't been following you as closely. To read this news now, it breaks my heart. Take it slow and take care of yourself and each other.

Ivy

 
At 6:02 PM, Blogger Millie said...

Damn. Damn. Damn. This is really horrible. I'm so very sorry. I've been there and know just how much this sucks. I'm also crying for you and sending all the love your way that I possibly can. I'm also railing at the universe for the unfairness of it all.

Take good care of yourselves. I found that lots of tears and holing up helped a bit. Hope you find something that helps you. We're all here for you.

 
At 7:56 PM, Blogger Emma B. said...

I'm so sorry, Pamplemousse.

 
At 9:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry. Emotionally, this whole process takes such a toll.

I usually just lurk here and silently route you on but I felt I needed to come out of lurkerdom to give you some support at this difficult time.

Please take good care of yourself.

Bonnie.

 
At 3:07 AM, Blogger Drew said...

Pample...

I am sorry to hear about your sad news. I was so wrapped up with myself I forgot to check on my cyber friends.

I am bad for telling people to not give up hope - it can either make the person feel better or worse.

You are amazing already and whatever you accomplish after that is a bonus - you just hang in there, take a rest (because IVF fucks you up emotionally and physically), and then have a think about what to do next. You still have a few more options.

So don't be disheartened - take time out for yourself and grief - I am doing the same and I will be thinking of you.

 
At 1:10 PM, Anonymous Orodemniades said...

That fucking bites.

 
At 11:33 PM, Blogger WonderMama said...

Oh no. No no no no.
Sorry doesn't even begin to cover how I feel right now.

Take good care of yourself.
I'll be thinking of you.

 
At 4:09 AM, Blogger PI Jill said...

I am so sorry.

 

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