PCOS - check. Infertility - check. IVF - check. 43 years young - check. Sick of babydust - fricking double check. Join a Scottish infertile as she slowly swirls down the plughole. Now with added donor egg flava.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

One Wedding and a Funeral

Yes, that is my itinerary for this week.

Sadly this weekend, my cousin passed away, just short of 40. She fought long and hard against breast cancer but the secondaries spread too far, too fast. Rest in peace, H.

The funeral is tomorrow and since my father's funeral 12 years ago, I cannot bear to attend them. Oh, I do attend and pay my respects but it brings all the memories flooding back. Once you have lost a parent, time heals but you can still be side-swiped by the most esoteric things. Funerals, however, are the worst.

It is the same thing at weddings. I always reach for Mr P's hand and smile at the memories of our happy day. I am usually the one rolling my eyes at the flower arrangements and evil-ly muttering "I give them a year" (especially if they are young), but I enjoy the reverie of my own trip down marital lane.

For the record, my prediction is usually sadly accurate.

After the funeral tomorrow, comes the wedding rehearsal dinner in the evening for Mr P's nephew. Talk about switching gears! I am still trying to co-ordinate an outfit which will work for both events. Not the easiest of tasks.

Luckily there are no problems with the actual wedding gear for Saturday's ceremony. It is going to be a marquee wedding and we have not had any rain for over 3 weeks. Chances are good that my heels will survive.

I am not sure my bruised and battered heart will.

PS 4 weeks today.

PPS several bloggers nominated me as a Rocking Girl Blogger which has totally embarrassed me. By the time I get around to thinking about it, there will be no-one else left to nominate ;)


At 2:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am sorry to hear of your cousins passing. I am with you on funerals, though. My dad died 15 years ago and funerals bring me back to that time.

At 7:35 AM, Blogger tonya said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. That damned disease took my aunt, too. I'll be thinking of you.

(and re: P.S. 4 weeks to go-- woo hoo!)

At 10:57 AM, Blogger Thalia said...

I remember being inconsolable at my brothers girlfriend's funeral about 15 years ago, and my mum saying she felt that when we grieve on these occasions we are grieving for all our losses, not just the death concerned. It can really be overwhelming.

No heels for the funeral and rehearsal dinner then?

At 8:54 PM, Blogger Jess said...

Sorry to hear about your cousin.

Good luck finding an outfit for both! Youcould always change in the car!

At 9:39 PM, Blogger Lut C. said...

I'm sorry for the loss of your cousin at such an alarmingly young age.
Self-centered as I am, funerals get to me because they're such a brutal reminder of my own mortality.

At 12:29 AM, Anonymous Flicka said...

I'm so sorry about your cousin. 40 is far too young.

Thinking of you...

At 8:14 AM, Anonymous Kath said...

Dear Pamplemousse, I'm so sorry to read about your cousin. That is so sad. Funerals do the same thing to me now -- I just can't stop reliving the Big One.

I hope the funeral followed by the rehearsal didn't give you a terrible case of emotional whiplash.

At 12:54 AM, Anonymous T said...

Oh honey, I'm so so very sorry about your cousin. That's so amazingly tragic - don't get me started on cancer - gggrrrrrr!

At 10:05 PM, Blogger Beagle said...

I'm so sorry about your cousin. My condolences.

Thinking of you as you navigate yet another emotional obstacle course.

At 2:04 PM, Anonymous calliope said...

so sorry for you loss.


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