PCOS - check. Infertility - check. IVF - check. 43 years young - check. Sick of babydust - fricking double check. Join a Scottish infertile as she slowly swirls down the plughole. Now with added donor egg flava.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Paddling My Own Canoe

I must be mad or benighted or just plain cuckoo.

Just as I finally get back on a long stretch of being normal (who am I kidding?), I decide we are going to cycle in South Africa again.

My friends from across the pond unfortunately cancelled their trip to visit us in August so suddenly I had a lot of holidays earmarked and nothing to do. What else would I decide to do?? Put myself through the DE wringer again, of course.

The truth is that I am more excited to return to Cape Town than I am about another cycle. The weather, the scenery, the people, the food, the wine...all fabulous. I booked the flights as I got a great price for October. It will be my 42nd birthday when we are out there. I cannot wait to take high tea at Kirstenbosch gardens, jazz brunch on Sunday, eyeball the penguins at Boulder Beach, meet up with the gorgeous and divine one again, wake up each morning to that divine view. Whatever horror stories you hear about SA, it is an amazing country to experience at least once in your life.

After I booked our flights (and horrified my donor co-ordinator as that is not the way you are supposed to do it), I picked a donor licketysplit too. You are supposed to pick a donor, she gets her medical exam and once the tests are complete, your dates and cycle plan are sent to you via e-mail THEN you book your flights. Ooops*.

Luckily my wonderful co-ordinator saw the funny side. Mind you, it was a done deal with KLM by then so there was not much else to do really. Thankfully everyone down there bends over backward to be accommodating and helpful and since we are planning this cycle for October, there should be lots of room for leeway (crosses fingers, spits over left shoulder and 3 muttered verses of Shang-A-Lang).

Last year, I hemmed and hawed, considering family history, resemblance to me, hair and eye colours, the whole gamut. This time, I was just "Is she a proven donor????".

Yes, 3 times with two cycles resulting in twins**.

I don't give two hoots for much else. How blase one becomes about this whole process. It makes me feel more mercenary about the whole thing as all I am interested in is a good number of eggs and a solid track record. Ugh.

What I find most ironic is that I rejected this particular donor last year as she was unproven at that time. She has since then become a rockstar donor. Sigh, never mind.

My donor last year was proven, in that she had donated previously but no positive result. Since we were the second couple to receive a donation, it could have just been bad luck. Either way, even if she had been available this year, I was still intent on a new donor.

I am afraid that I don't have the stomach for this any more. I like the even keel, the lack of emotional undertow even if it is pharmaceutically provided. I can even contemplate the whole giving up and staying childless notion now without hysteria and sobbing. If this cycle fails, I am 99.9% ready to close the door. If I won the lottery, maybe not but who knows? This will be my 3rd DE cycle and I am battle-weary.

* A word to the wise....never get between a Scottish lady and a long-haul flight bargain. It can get ugly. Just saying.

** Not that it automatically means that it will work for my deathstar uterus but you know, hope springs eternal, no matter how long she spends trapped in a wardrobe.


At 4:48 PM, Anonymous DG said...

Good luck!

At 4:48 PM, Anonymous Jenn said...

Good luck!

At 5:12 PM, Blogger Eliza said...

OMG I have a Scottish great-grandparent who literally changed the spelling of the family name (come on over and leave a comment if you're curious and I'll tell you which one--it's very common esp. around Lockerbie) b/c the sign-painter they hired to do a billboard for their furniture business here in the U.S. mis-spelled it and was going to charge him to re-do. I can well imagine your steely resolve, esp. in the face of haemorrhaging money for the blasted eggs and such (I so hope this works! It'd be so great if you and Thalia, my other across-the-pond blog stalkee whose site I lurk on, both end up mums).

At 5:33 PM, Anonymous Kath said...

Dear Pamplemousse, it's great to hear from you, and to hear that buoyancy in your post! Good for you for making that booking -- your scheduling method sounds like just the ticket. (Hey, I'm sure movie stars do it that way too...) I wish you a wonderful visit to SA, and even more fervently, I wish you fantastic success. May this visit and this donor and this alignment of planets bring you your heart's wish.

At 6:47 PM, Blogger millie said...

Do you have any idea how tempted I am to join you in SA? Just to celebrate your birthday with you, go to the gardens, and see my SA friends. I'm not even tempted to cycle there.

I scheduled my last trip there based on when I could get a free ticket so I completely understand tickets coming first.

I have a really really good feeling about this.

At 7:13 PM, Blogger Thalia said...

Sounds like a great way to plan a trip, and the best possible set up given the donor record. Very excited about the possibilities.

At 7:24 PM, Blogger Katie said...

I'm singing, "Here we go, here we go, here we goooo!" and so excited about this. I think the mercenary approach is just great. We found a good mercado today, complete with all sorts of candles to light in your house to various saints. I'm going to get two: one for us (for selling the damn houses) and one for you. For you know what. Sending barrels of love. Can you feel it?

At 8:35 PM, Anonymous Flicka said...

What a lovely place to spend your 42nd birthday! I hope the confluence of beautiful scenery and happy birthday events collides with your cycle in a great way. I am so, so hoping for you. Good luck!


At 10:10 PM, Blogger Kris said...

I think that's fantastic. Good luck!

At 11:49 PM, Blogger Patience said...

I really like the way you've done it - booking flights first means everything just has to fall into place!!

Best of luck!

At 12:22 AM, Blogger Jess said...

Hey if booking flights first makes it happen and gets you a better deal, more power to you! :)

Hoping for you and praying tha tyou don't even have to think abotu closing the door.

At 1:59 AM, Blogger Anna said...

I do so hope this cycle will be "the one." Your trip thus far sounds fantastic! Enjoy! I'll be rooting for you from across the pond ;)

At 6:23 AM, Blogger MsPrufrock said...

Woo hoo! I hope the very best of things for this cycle. What a lovely place to be celebrating your birthday too.

At 9:24 AM, Blogger Lut C. said...

You're just using the donor cycle excuse so you can go on a fabulous holiday. ;-)
Quite an expensive excuse, and one that will keep costing you over and over if it works. :-) Let's hope so!

At 1:59 PM, Anonymous T said...

*hahahahahahahahaha! Don't I know it!

At 6:29 PM, Blogger moo said...

This is fantastic! I will follow along hanging on every word. Sending my best. Where will you stay this time- the same???


At 3:18 AM, Blogger Sparkle said...

Fantastic news.

At 6:31 PM, Blogger Teendoc said...

Enjoy it all for me! I miss Cape Town so much. I wish you every success.

At 7:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yahoo! So happy to hear this! Great news! Hope you still have all those cute outfits from last year. You know I am STILL envious of that dress.


At 2:28 AM, Blogger linda said...

So glad to see you're giving it another go. I thought I was ready to throw in the towel after my failed IVF#3 and then I surprised myself and am embarking on #4. If this next cycle doesn't work out, you may find you have strength to do another one, but now that you have the rockstar donor, I will bite my tongue and cross my fingers that she comes through for you, too! Please take your camera along so those of us stuck in other places can share your journey! :-)

PS, Thanks for the offer...but I think I've found everything I need. (hug)

At 5:48 AM, Blogger Sue said...

Hey, P! Wishing you the best of luck. It's all worth it, Babe.

At 5:23 PM, Anonymous calliope said...

woooo hooo! this is so effing EXCITING!
I love your book flight first approach.
Can't wait to hear more, more, more.

At 5:05 PM, Blogger silene said...

Wow - best of luck!!

At 6:50 PM, Blogger Vivien said...

Go youngster! Just had my 44th birthday, though keeping it quiet this year - don't say anything, will you.
All the best.

At 2:20 AM, Anonymous Julia S. said...


Good for you, my dear. I'll hold both my thumbs and am wishing you the very best.

At 5:25 AM, Blogger linda said...

Okay love. I come here just about everyday looking for an update. I feel like a stalker. Please let us know what's going on. :-)

At 4:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh dear. Still, Anonymous, I daresay worse things happen at sea. How about a nice cup of tea?

But as for you, dear Pamplemousse, this is the most wonderful news! It's very exciting and I can't wait to hear more. Wishing you so much luck.


PS I *love* the term 'deathstar uterus'.

At 7:08 PM, Blogger Beagle said...

I'll be right here cheering for you. I'd love to see you turn mommy blogger with TWO baby P's!

Speaking of paddling though, I've been enjoying my own childfree interlude paddling my kayak. It's not so bad really.

At 12:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Guess what, after my failed attempt in June, we are going to be back in SA October as well. My donor is a rockstar as well with several successes....I'm hoping its not the same one.


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