My Motto For Today Definitely Contains Swear Words

I got those lupron period blues already and it is only CD2.

I woke up this morning in a pool of blood and with my head in a vice. It was not really in a vice but it surely felt like it.

Yesterday I was totally pollyannaesque, going "This is my last period until after the twins are born....wheeeee...giggle....giggle". A total hormone high. Yeah, I could have slapped myself.

Today it is the opposite end of the spectrum and doom and gloom abounds.

Today, in my head is the Bill Hicks-esque monologue "Who are you trying to kid??? You are zero for two already and that is just fresh donor cycles. Do you want to count those failed IVFs too?? Huh, huh??? Well, do ya?????".

Aaaah, the fun of the hormones. I checked my archives for last year and they are really so handy for reminding me of the manic behaviour, depression, exhaustion and killer headaches. So. handy. Every girl should have them.

Anyhoo, what was I blithering on about????

Oh yes, the worst thing about having a period is sneezing during a period. Really, can we have any more fun???

Then the second worst thing is my annoying stepfather coming round to visit and I am expected to listen to his inane drivel for 3 hours. I was going to kill him but Mr P gave me that look that said I would just upset my mother and the blood would never come out of the rug.

I took myself off to hide in the kitchen with Mr Pinot and Mr Grigio instead and I found them much more amenable and soothing.

Next blog post will be my rant about Studio 60 and the lack of any further episodes. I bet you cannot wait.