PCOS - check. Infertility - check. IVF - check. 43 years young - check. Sick of babydust - fricking double check. Join a Scottish infertile as she slowly swirls down the plughole. Now with added donor egg flava.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

All Aboard The Skylark!

Otherwise known as: What! I don't even get an orgasm out of that!!!!

The cheery title of this post belies the truth.

They lied to me at the clinic. They told me transfer was like getting a smear test.

Hmmph. It was fracking awful. I could not stop my legs shaking in the stirrups. I have never felt more undignified and humiliated in all my life. And it hurt. I have read what Amanda at Manana Banana has said about her problematic transfers but I just did not expect that.

I should be grateful to be here, here in the 2ww that I thought I would never attain. I know I should be.

Instead, I am grumpy and pissed off. None of the other 3 embryos made it and the 2 they transferred were so-so. All that effort and planning and all I get is 2 so-so embryos. Call me ungrateful and undeserving but I am mad as hell.

Mr P told me to relax. Hmmph.


At 9:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mmmm- my transfer was completely pain free- I have had worse smears- but maybe it depends on who is doing it, and every woman is different. Shame about the lost 3- fingers crossed for the valiant two. You know where to find me if you want to chat!

At 9:35 PM, Blogger ninaB said...

It is disappointing when they conk out for no reason. But you've got 2 and that's a pretty good start. Of course it's easy for the men to tell us to relax. They haven't had a team of docs staring up their cha-cha.

At 10:23 PM, Blogger avonlea said...

Ms. P - I've been thinking about you even though I haven't been checking in. What a lot to take in - I'm sorry that you were in pain and the three left behind.

I'm glad you made it to transfer, don't forget, it only takes one.

At 10:39 PM, Blogger linda said...

I'll have to concur with B. Mare. My tranfers have been painless. In fact, I didn't feel anything the last time. On the other hand my smears are god awful. My RE also gives patients 10mg of valium before transfer, so that helps.

Also..during a retrieval, many REs will measure the depth of your uterus (ie, a catheter check) when you're "out", kind of like a trial run, but since you had a donor, they likely didn't get a chance to do this with you unless they did it in a separate visit.

I'll be thinking of you and your two little troopers!!

At 10:45 PM, Blogger Demeter said...

I am so excited for you and your two little ones. Let's hope these stay for the journey. Sometimes so so embryos are the best fighters. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

At 10:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Pamplemousse, I'm so sorry your transfer was so painful, and that there's nothing left to thaw. But I am still choosing to be hopeful and optimistic (without, mind you, telling you to relax), because we all know cases of the little embryo that could. I'm so hoping it happens for you, my dear.

At 11:18 PM, Blogger Amyesq said...

Yes, yes. What Kath said. Sorry the t-fer was so bad. I think for some they are nothing and for somethey are heinous and never the twain shall meet.

Still, praying for the 2 little guys hopefully dividing and conquering in your uterus right now. Onward!

At 11:23 PM, Blogger Kris said...

Relax during the two week wait? What a comedian Mr. P is!

I know you are disappointed not to have better than a so-so rating, but many very successful people started out as "C" students, I'm sure. Your wee babes can do it. Keeping my fingers crossed and remaining hopeful for you, even if you aren't feeling very hopeful right now.

At 11:26 PM, Blogger Thalia said...

You can boot Mr P from all of us. Honestly. And boo to your doc who hurt you. That wasn't helpful. Did you have a sample transfer sometime before?

Congrats on the 2. I know it is unbelievably disappointing, but 2 might be all you need. They might.

At 11:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, shit. I'm so sorry you had a bad transfer experience. Everyone is quick to say how transfer is the easiest part of all of this IVF stuff. Well, for some of us it can be the hardest. I'm just so sorry you find yourself there, too.

You have every right to be pissed. It sucks so much when things don't go the way we expect and deserve them to.

I'm thinking about you so much and hoping so very much for you.

At 12:30 AM, Blogger DinosaurD said...

Out of my four transfers, 3 were painless and 1 was horribly painful (it was done by one of the doctor's who also performed one of the painless transfers).
I know that sometimes, the uterus can contract around the catheter and cause a lot of pain. That's not what happened to me and the Dr. was clueless about the cause.
Just goes to show how much voodoo there is in this whole thing.
I'm cheering for the two!

At 12:31 AM, Blogger beagle said...

I hope those two sweet so-so's make up for that crappy transfer experience and give you a BFP to cheer about in less than two weeks.

Sorry it was so painful. Do you have a tricky cervix or a goofy doc? Mine have never "hurt" just kind of pinchy and a few mild cramps.

My retrieval record sucks so I guess I can't really brag about my RE's skills. Just call him Dr. Puncture-your-bladder-oops.

Good Luck with the two!! And the two week wait!

At 1:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Ms. P. - I'm sorry you had a crappy transfer, but I can't be sorry about the so-so embryos. I got pregnant off a 5 cell, and it turned me into a believer that if they wanna stick, they'll stick. Rest up. Relax if you can and try to get through these 2 weeks. You've made it farther than ever before and that is an awesome thing.

At 2:18 AM, Blogger sube said...

Sorry the transfer wasn't so fun. But I hope those two are nestling in for a long stay. Take care!

At 7:50 AM, Blogger MC said...

Yeah it is undignified up in the chair legs splayed. Sorry the transfer was painful, the most I've had is a few cramps. Good luck with the two.

At 5:04 PM, Blogger Krista said...

I hear you on the painful transfer. I know there is no "scientific" evidence that staying in bed helps, but hey how often do husbands cater to their wifes so. I say take advantage! I"m praying for you two to stick around.

At 6:24 PM, Blogger Teendoc said...

I'm going to echo the others. Sorry that you had a bad transfer. I've had a few and all were painless, but it clearly depends on the state of your cervical os. The narrower or more stenotic the os, the more painful it can be.

But lets hope that the next pain you experience will be childbirth!

At 1:32 PM, Blogger Mermaidgrrrl said...

What a fucker about all the pain and 2 embies. Here's hoping that two's enough babe! I'm crossing everything - fingers, toes, labia minora - praying for a good outcome for you.

My IUI's have really hurt afterward for about 2-3 days. We both have all the luck with "painless" procedures huh? I hear chocolate is a good remedy ;-)

At 2:53 AM, Blogger moo said...

Hey Miss P.

I'm sorry about the sucky transfer. Mine have never hurt, but they were never BFP I'm thinking it is a good sign. Congrats on the two little champs! And stay the F in bed..listen to Mr. P! Been there too and I did exactly as you I hear you. STAY IN BED anyway!

At 6:44 AM, Blogger Sue said...

Jesus! I didn't know it was going to hurt!

At 3:09 PM, Blogger zhl said...

Oops, just catching up. Can't believe I missed the transfer. Remember that may a so-so embryo has made a darling baby.

Wishing you all the best. And so hoping that all works for you and Mr. P.

p.s. Saw your pic on amyesq's blog. You look exactly as I pictured you!


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