Pamplemousse

PCOS - check. Infertility - check. IVF - check. 43 years young - check. Sick of babydust - fricking double check. Join a Scottish infertile as she slowly swirls down the plughole. Now with added donor egg flava.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Optimistic Voices Redux

Re-reading my last post is making me cry. I know that there was sorrow and pain ahead for my Mum but she also did not know the joy and happiness that was ahead too. I did not mean for my post to be so gloomy.

See? That is why I have been absent from blogging, as it is hard not to be maudlin and sad via the written word.

Life is full of joy and pain and sometimes it seems like it is all pain. Certainly, the last few years have seemed like that for me but if you knew me in real life, I am not in tears and depressed every moment of every day. There are whole days where there is nothing but smiles, other days are dark with tears. I am being gentle with myself.

There is good news all around me, in my life.

I passed my driving test practical this week and today I had my first solo drive to get the Sunday papers (5 miles on my own! It was so quiet without Mr P that I had to put the radio on haha).

I got the all-clear a few weeks ago after my very 1st mammogram.

I have a secure job which gives me great personal satisfaction, even though it feels like I live in Glasgow at the moment as I am there so much during the week.

Mr P and I have booked to fly to San Francisco in the summer to visit the lovely Millie and hopefully meet up with Amy and the twins. Sorry Janie! Yet another year where I do not make it to NJ!

I could go on and on but you get my point. Spring is coming and the return of the light.

Thank you for all your kind thoughts.

PS Thalia, my mum was 18 when I was born and now I am thinking that the pic must have been taken in 1969 by the look of my brother there. I think I was 4.

7 Comments:

At 9:58 PM, Blogger Lut C. said...

Joy and pain, indeed. I agree it's harder to write about hapiness then about misery.

Congrats on the drivers license! Congrats to on the clear mammogram!

 
At 2:13 AM, Blogger Jess said...

Gratz on the license!!!

Life is really all ABOUT joy and pain...and it's so hard to convey things properly in writing most times, at least for me!!

 
At 10:13 AM, Blogger Thalia said...

So glad there are good things happening for you too, although you don't have to hide the bad stuff. It has been a tough tough few years for you.

How is the lovely Miss P? Who will take care of her while you're in SF?

Very impressed about you passing your test. I hated taking mine but my mother bullied me until I passed (took three years).

 
At 5:05 PM, Blogger beagle said...

Congratulation on passing your driver exam!

Blogging is funny in that it only conveys our thoughts in a given moment. Sometimes we feel more like writing in the sad moments and sometimes in the happy ones. I guess there is a skewed view of our lives, in a way, as a result.

I don't see you as happy or sad per se. I see you as open and honest and willing to share your moments, whatever they entail. I see you as the Amazing Ms. P. who now DRIVES!

 
At 6:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, congrats on the lisence! Wahoo, you can go absolutely anywhere now! This is great if you ever have a fight with the hubs. (I'm sure you never do.)

Blogging is wierd in that it's a release. You blog when you need to let something out but then it looks like maybe that's all there is. And that's very much not the truth. There's so much more to your life than the tiny bit we see here on the internet.

All that being said, I've been thinking of you lately. I'm glad to know there have been good days too. I want more of those for you. I'm sad you won't be making it to NJ; I live so close! :-( Maybe next time!

xoxoxoxo
Flicka

 
At 8:52 PM, Blogger Ladybird said...

So sorry about your Mum Pamplemousse. I had kind of given up checking on you as you were very quiet and it was such a shock to hear your news. Be really nice to yourself for the next few months, your soul needs kindness. Really enjoy your blog.
A Scotophilexx

 
At 5:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have been thinking about you lately - so nice to see you back here, and I'm glad that you can write about both the good and the bad stuff. I suppose that's what a blog is for.

Congratulations on your driving test - enjoy the music along the drive!

I hope that this new year brings you more good days than bad.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home