Pamplemousse

PCOS - check. Infertility - check. IVF - check. 43 years young - check. Sick of babydust - fricking double check. Join a Scottish infertile as she slowly swirls down the plughole. Now with added donor egg flava.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Ho Hum

So what's been happening here in the barren Pamplemousse household?

Mr P's band have a gig at an arts festival on the West Coast, beginning of August. It looks pretty cool but I bet it will be crawling with legions of children with their faces painted. And we are maybe camping out so the midges will get me.

We had blood drawn last week for our up-to-date HIV/Hepatitis B and C/syphilis screenings. This is needed for treatment in SA, never mind the fact that my old clinic let us cycle this year with out-of-date results. Little did they know that I love to celebrate an ectopic pregnancy with dangerous activities like too much Pimms, too much cake and not enough shared needles full of heroin. Let us not even mention unprotected s.e.x. What is that???

Ditto the semen analysis required for Mr P. Last one he had done? 3 years ago. Do you see a pattern here? My clinic tried to fob off my complaints with the defence that counting the sperm during ICSI was almost like an SA and I am like "What, dude? Does the embryologist have a copy of that scribble for faxing to SA???

Then to add insult to injury, because I am daring to go elsewhere for treatment (subtext-abroad), the shutters come down and the clinic are unable to provide new testing for us so I have to plead with my GP for help with further testing. Luckily, she steps up to the plate like a trouper but what the hell? I swear that I was ready to start killing people.

Hmmm, what else? Oh yes, my GP also prescribed me Proz*c at the same time. It was probably the wild eyes and the sobbing that gave me away. I am not taking it though, at the moment. I just like to keep a stash in the drug cupboard, together with 3 million unused Gonal-f needles. Anyone need needles, just drop me a line. You are not getting the other stuff in the cupboard yet though.

Amongst the angst and sobbing, I also decided it was time to stop the Pimms and cake and get back on the bandwagon. You know, the diet one. Otherwise the way I am going, I will not fit in my seat on the plane to Capetown.

I have 9 weeks (minus a couple of days) to lose 8 kgs (17.5 lbs). This gets me to my lowest ever IVF weight. Needless to say, I will still be gigantic and wobbly but it would be a start (albeit a small one). I started back on the multivitamins and chromium and magnesium and folic acid, all of which I had stopped when the ectopic was discovered. I know I will struggle once I add the hormones back in in September but I figure I can give it a good go until then. I am due to have my depot Lupron shot around August 31.

This leads me on to my next rant. It is over 2 weeks since I have been at zero HCG so where is my period? I am tortured by my body endlessly. The stupid thing never does the right thing at the right time. I am due to start BCPs when it arrives in July and it is almost August. I emailed the good doctor in Capetown and he says no worries. It is easy for him to say. He is not the one whose body is dysfunctional and cannot ever do anything to a timetable.

And of course, there will be no help forthcoming from my old clinic, will there?

Kudos if you have made it to the end of this ranting post. Feel free to mutter "Oh, shut up" at the computer screen as I do that often too.

28 Comments:

At 5:52 PM, Blogger DD said...

I can hear your mumbling shut the f up all the time, to which I always reply, no YOU shut the f up. And so it goes on and on...

I heard that!

Your so-called "clinic" sounds like it's staffed by asswipes, which is totally useless when you are trying to get knocked up since they are focusing on the wrong damned body spot.

 
At 6:11 PM, Blogger Katie (WannaBeMom) said...

I have to second DD because your clinic sounds too rude for words. Thank God your GP is ready to help!

Good luck with the cake, but maybe the Pimms is okay?

No doubt the period will come when you're camping-- That's Murphy's freaking Law.

 
At 7:19 PM, Anonymous amanda said...

My first clinic shut me off like that after I requested my records for my consult at my second (and much, much better) clinic. Good riddance, I say.

I'm glad your GP was able to help you out. I hope your period decides to cooperate so you can get the show on the road. Good luck!

 
At 9:06 PM, Blogger Lut C. said...

How unprofessional of them. How dare they!

 
At 9:26 PM, Anonymous T said...

Shite - did you hear me?

I'm right there with you on the bandwagon - it's been two days and I haven't lost 10 pounds - what's wrong?????

 
At 9:29 PM, Blogger Anna said...

I'm so sorry you have to deal with the agita from your clinic on top of everything else! Holy moly! You sure have been busy!

I hope everything goes well with the next cycle!

 
At 10:18 PM, Blogger katty said...

It sounds like things have been very grim; I hope they get better.
Is it a good idea to take valium when you are trying to conceive? I actually don't know the answer. I know my friend has come off her anti-depressants so she can try to have a baby, but she finds it very very hard and is tempted to go back on them.
Wishing you well. And for easier times ahead.

 
At 11:29 PM, Anonymous annmarie said...

Ok Ms. P...wanna be insane with weight loss? I suggest South Beach Diet. You will feel hopeless as you eliminate whole food groups for two weeks. But that scale will move. And I don't take my own advice and do this South Beach thing because I am lazy as hell...

 
At 2:10 AM, Blogger Kris said...

My clinic told me today to let them know if I hadn't gotten my period in 4 weeks- or in effect 2 weeks late. (They are assuming based on my less than 0.1 beta, I'm about 2 weeks into a "cycle" already). More waiting. Hope your period shows soon. Feels twisted to be wishing for our monthly visitors, doesn't it?

 
At 4:02 AM, Blogger S said...

That clinic sure sounds like a bunch of douchebags-I'd have totally gone apeshit. Good riddance to bad rubbish (bad douchebags?), I say.

I hope that your period shows up sooner rather than later. And, you just mumble "shut up" at the 'puter? What grace-I usually try to string as many cursewords as I can-like:

"motherfuckingtittysuckingtwotimingwhore"

That's a personal favorite.

 
At 5:01 AM, Blogger Donna said...

Well crap. Hopefully the fact that you lamented about your period not showing up forced it to arrive just as you hit the publish button. It's worth a shot.

 
At 2:42 PM, Blogger Maya said...

Glad that you are seeking treatment elsewhere. You deserve better.

 
At 5:06 PM, Blogger the waiting line said...

I made it to the end of your rant and, you know what? I hear ya. I'll be hitting the lupron around Aug 16th. Oh boy. This is wild (and depressing) ride, ain't it. At least you switched clinics -- sounds like a very good call.

Take care.

 
At 8:33 PM, Blogger jill said...

wow - i found the person i share the .0025% shitiness jackpot with...very sorry for your unbelievable loss.

jill
ovarian ectopic, may 2006, after first ivf

 
At 8:55 PM, Blogger linda said...

Are you losing weight in hopes of trying to get your BMI down?? I am thinking to do the same thing, but I have SUCH trouble doing this...I work at home and sit on my ass most of the day.

What are you going to do to try to lose the weight? I hear that sometimes Prozac can make it hard to lose weight...so keep an eye on that and try to get a different prescription if it starts to wreak havoc on your diet efforts.

 
At 10:43 PM, Blogger Thalia said...

Sounds like you've still got a lot on your plate.

Re the period, mine took 4 weeks after the zero hcg - ie I had a normal cycle with ovulation and shit like that. Did your womb lining shed when you were bleeding during the ectopic - do you know from the scan? Because all I'm saying is you might be waiting another 2 weeks for that period to come to your house.

Goodluck with the weight loss. Me I am going in the opposite direction.

 
At 11:45 PM, Blogger amyesq said...

I think mine took a couple of weeks after zeroing out on HCG, too. It would be nice to get the damn show on the road, though, fud fook's seek!

Yay on the healthiness! But I DO hope it means we won't only be eating sprouts when I am there, b/c THAT would suck. We will just have to WALK more.

Um, and your clinic sucks!! It's like "and THAT'S why we are glad we are not using you anymore, assholes!" Jerks.

 
At 12:51 AM, Blogger mermaidgrrrl said...

Your clinic can bite me.

I can't tell you how much I am crossing every single body part for you - my fingers, my toes, my labia majora.... everything!

 
At 1:45 AM, Blogger NikkiNix said...

FOR GOODNESS SAKE - WHAT A SET OF DUMBASSES! I am so glad to hear you are going to SA becasue this is simply DUMB! I hope that period comes soon so you can get the REAL show on the road - you deserve so much better. The P*zc may help... can't hurt can it ?

 
At 3:11 AM, Anonymous Sarah said...

Good luck with the weightloss...I've never been that successful, but I do have to agree that the closest that I came to sucess was the South Beach diet which has a lot of sensible advice which basically changes how you think of foods.

 
At 7:13 PM, Anonymous Manuela said...

Oh, P...

I know I haven't been posting much... but I've been reading and thinking of you lots... I just haven't been sure if you'd want to hear from me right now, you know?

But please know... I am soo soo hoping that this cycle abroad will do the trick... stay strong on the diet front... because even if it SUCKS it will help you feel more in control... or... at least that's how it made me feel.

Smooches, lovey.

 
At 9:39 PM, Blogger Lisa said...

I'll never tell you to shut up - let it all out. We can take all the whinging and absolutely justified outrage that you can throw at us. I really hope things all come together to make your SA cycle a success.

 
At 11:38 PM, Blogger Sparkle said...

Wow that's a swift plan B. Unreal.
Didn't have an ectopic, but after my miscarriage (D&C) I think it took 5 to 6 weeks for my period to show up.

 
At 2:17 AM, Blogger chris said...

Wow. Your clinic really blows.

Hang in there.

 
At 1:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Edinburgh ACU took a loooong time and much badgering to provide records for the new clinic. Funny though, they were always quick enough to send the bills for two grand plus...sorry you are experiencing this.

 
At 6:35 PM, Blogger zhl said...

Fuckers. What a racket. I hate tracking down my own records and trying to get help. Shouldn't that be their job? Hope the trip abroad is much nicer.

 
At 7:35 PM, Blogger Fertile Soul said...

Oh P, i'm glad you're getting back on the bandwagon, despite the continuing tears. This road is so difficult and different for each person, but still oh so difficult.

Have a safe trip!

 
At 10:57 PM, Blogger Nico said...

Only nine weeks! I hope it flies by. I really can't believe, along with everyone else, that your old clinic is being so unhelpful. Are they surprised, after your results, that you're trying something different? Asshats!

 

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