Pamplemousse

PCOS - check. Infertility - check. IVF - check. 43 years young - check. Sick of babydust - fricking double check. Join a Scottish infertile as she slowly swirls down the plughole. Now with added donor egg flava.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Hypothetical Question

If you are 40 and know your friend at the other end of the country is going through IVF and infertility treatments for years and although you have not discussed it directly, no good news has been forthcoming for those long sad years on the baby front.....well, then, would you send the 2ND birth announcement in 18 months out of the blue, without even a warning shot in the Xmas card the month before your second child in 18 months is born????

Particularly when you did this 18 months ago on the first time round...just a birth announcement as a surprise in the post?

With this one, added cutesie photos of 18 month old and 1 week old together in their first meeting? And, just to add a kicker for added twisting of knife, the birth date of the 1 week old was on my own husband's birthday???

Would you????

Aaargh! Just fracking shoot me now!!!!!

27 Comments:

At 12:28 PM, Blogger DrSpouse said...

Actually, I'm pretty sure you would, because you would think it was Nice. Because everyone loves seeing pictures of babies, right?

 
At 1:09 PM, Blogger ankaisa said...

Ouch! That is a bit too much, especially if she knows you are still struggling. It certainly is a kick in the stomach to get the news, but the picture really tops it.

 
At 1:12 PM, Anonymous T said...

I don't think I'd be calling myself a friend. Insensitive perhaps, but friend? No.

 
At 1:13 PM, Blogger MsPrufrock said...

Ugh. Some people are so far from getting it. I agree with Ankaisa, as if the news isn't enough, she just had to send a picture.

 
At 2:43 PM, Blogger Avonlea said...

Oh stop talking about 40 like it was a death sentence - as your elder I command it....

No, I wouldn't, but then I have no idea what it's like to be a smug fertile.

 
At 3:37 PM, Blogger Pamplemousse said...

40 is a death sentence, isn't it??? Haha. Just pulling your chain, Avonlea.

My friend is 40 too and you may not realise it but I am thrilled she has turned into a baby factory at our age. Thrilled but saddened for me too. You know, the usual schtick!

 
At 3:41 PM, Blogger DD said...

I would only request out of respect a little warning, but that was a shit-bomb if I ever heard one.

On the other hand you could think "hell, if she can do it so can I!"

Never mind, that's just insensitive. Go ahead and cock the trigger...

 
At 4:21 PM, Anonymous mm said...

Could she be more self centered?!

 
At 4:37 PM, Blogger DrSpouse said...

mm - I'm sure she could find some other way to be even more self-centred! People usually do...

 
At 4:44 PM, Blogger Claudia said...

People suck. Sorry that you have such an insensitive "friend".

 
At 4:59 PM, Blogger Kellie said...

I think a phone call, if she is truly a friend, to let you know is much more sensitive than "wham" here is the birth... oh yeah, and pictures too.

Ugh.

 
At 5:31 PM, Blogger Nico said...

No, I would never ever in a million years do that. But I have found myself wondering more and more frequently in recent days how on earth people can be so self-centered and compassion-less. It seems to be a virus!

 
At 5:36 PM, Blogger Mellie said...

I was going to write exactly what T wrote. "Friend" is the wrong word. I don't even get why you'd be sending birth announcements to people you hadn't even told you were pregnant. How do you go through 9 months of pregnancy and not mention that little fact to your "friend"?

 
At 6:18 PM, Anonymous Manuela said...

Um... NOOOO!

Damn bitchy fertile twat!

 
At 6:23 PM, Anonymous Kath said...

Shaking my head -- not only in answer to your question but in total disbelief that anyone could be so clueless and cruel. I'm so sorry, Pamplemousse. People suck.

 
At 6:25 PM, Anonymous thalia said...

Grr. Grrrrrr. No words.

 
At 10:09 PM, Blogger Em said...

Where's her IF protocol? That is just too crazy.

 
At 10:16 PM, Blogger amyesq said...

Hell, no, I wouldn't. But clearly your friend is all about herself and not the pain that you are going through. Please lose her!

 
At 10:22 PM, Blogger Lut C. said...

Is there any way you would have wanted to hear this news? It would always have been a blow.
She didn't make any effort to cushion the impact though. I say demote her to acquaintance.

 
At 11:32 PM, Blogger Tazzy said...

hey, pamplemousee, nice to meet you, too, through blog land.

damn your friend. I mean, your "friend" - I can't believe she sent that to you.

 
At 11:59 PM, Anonymous statia said...

I think that picture cards should be illegal.

I got one from every single person that KNOWS I'm going through ivf. It totally steams me.

 
At 1:21 AM, Blogger fisher queen said...

Quel Bitch. Can anyone say "shredder"?

 
At 1:58 AM, Blogger chris said...

F'ing rude. I think parents think everyone should be happy for them regardless because, you know, they're the first damn people on the planet to get pregnant.

Maybe this is a good opportunity to teach your friend a lesson and tell her the truth, that what she did was painful.

Take care.

 
At 4:47 AM, Blogger PortLairge said...

That was pretty shitty but I can't shoot you now because I like reading your blog.

 
At 5:52 AM, Blogger Donna said...

Sending pictures of surprise second baby is just.not.cool. And not something a friend would do.

 
At 4:27 AM, Blogger MC said...

I hate those drive bys. It's rather cruel as she knows the struggle you have been through and are still going through. It's always worse from a friend who at times seemed to get it.

 
At 8:12 PM, Blogger Beagle said...

Does it hurt less if it's meant well?

Actually, No.

The general public: strangers on teh street to our best firends . . . may never get what it is to endure infertility.

Sorry. I think we all wish "they" could get it too. I know I do.

 

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