That Stupid Fertility Doll Is Giving Me The Finger

It leers at me whenever I enter the spare room. It was a gift from the donor co-ord. in SA and I appreciate the thought but I could cheerfully chuck it in the bin. It is like a black female version of Chucky. Where are my pins??

12dp3dt and the HPTs are snowy, luminous white where the second line should be. Even the cheapie Dollar Tree tests are declining to give me evap lines any more. I splashed out last night on the good stuff...the FRER and the Clear Blue Early. Pffft. Should have saved that money.

Nothing much else to say right now, other than it makes me want to vomit at the thought of the cost of this negative cycle. I keep telling myself that I had a wondrous holiday and it was worth it to have an opportunity to cycle where normally hope is non-existent but it is not consoling me right now.

Mr P is being his usual optimistic ray of sunshine self and telling me how I did not get a positive HPT until 14dp2dt last time. I restrain myself from garroting him and simply remind him in a snarling sarcastic tone of the great outcome that cycle had last time. Accompanied by much rolling of the eyes.

And please for the love of all that is holy, do not tell me to wait for the beta as THERE ARE NO BETAS HERE!!!!!

There is only me, alone, locked gibbering in a room with crappy HPTs.