PCOS - check. Infertility - check. IVF - check. 43 years young - check. Sick of babydust - fricking double check. Join a Scottish infertile as she slowly swirls down the plughole. Now with added donor egg flava.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Well, hello there, stranger!

Go on, slap my hand! You know you want to.

Blogging has been way, way down my list of priorities the last few weeks and I have to confess that I am almost totally out of the loop blogland-wise. Other than congrats to Thalya and T at Good Times and a sad goodbye to Karen at the Nakey O's.

I have been so busy with work and travelling that all I am fit for when I do have some down-time is catch up on my TV programmes and marvel at how I have not yet managed to post one Xmas card, other than some international ones. And today is the 15th!! Thankfully I have all my gifts organised though unwrapped.

I am still taking the ADs and I have to say that now the side-effects have smoothed out, I feel totally normal. I cannot remember the last time I could say that. Mr P would probably tell you that there was not ever such a time (and he should know as he has had the misfortune of putting up with me and my shenanigans since I was a mere little dumpling of age 11!).

Whether the ADs have just smoothed out the peaks and troughs or what, I am not complaining. I am content to get on with normal life and enjoy my work and not think about the IF shit. I feel as if I have stepped off the treadmill and for the moment, I am not caring if I ever do another DE cycle again.

We have spoken about going back to Cape Town sometime later in 2007 but I am not making any decisions for a few months. I rushed into that last cycle too soon after the ectopic and although it felt like the right thing at the time, I feel now that I was trying to fix a broken leg with a tiny bandaid. When it was a negative result, the world collapsed on top of me. Hindsight is a marvellous thing, eh?

In fact, yesterday was CD1 and I was totally dry-eyed at the sight of the blood and that is really amazing to me. To not give a hoot.....priceless.


At 6:48 PM, Blogger Thalia said...

HI sweetie. Glad you are still there, I was going to send you an email today to check in. Sounds like at least you are looking after yourself, the most important thing after all.

That makes sense about the bandaid. I always think that I shouldn't make ANY decisions after a failed cycle/disaster like your ectopic as I am usually completely insane for a while.

Thinking of you a lot.

At 7:08 PM, Blogger DD said...

I think the ADs must be kicking in trans-atlantically.

At 7:10 PM, Blogger Lut C. said...

Who are you, and why am I reading your blog? You come across as perfectly sane and pretty balanced.


At 7:36 PM, Anonymous Flicka said...

Hey, girl! I'm so glad to hear that silence=everything is okay. may it continue on and on. (not the silence, for heaven's sake, the level feelings.!)

Missed you.


At 10:54 PM, Anonymous roni said...

Hi Ms. P - I've been checking in regularly and am very happy to hear that things are leveling out for you. I'm hoping that you continue to feel well into the new year.


At 12:20 AM, Blogger Kris said...

Glad you are sailing on at even keel. And it's nice to know you are still alive.

At 2:27 AM, Anonymous T said...

Hi lovey dove. You know what though? Soemtimes it's impossible NOT to rush into the next cycle. I remember after I miscarried I thought I would go bonkers having to wait 3 months.

I'm glad you're doing well and wow, those ad's sound tremendous.

At 3:53 AM, Blogger Jess said...

You sound positively wonderful! I'm so happy to hear you sounding so happy and at peace!!

Enjoy, deserve it!!

At 11:25 PM, Blogger Sparkle said...

You sound great. It's nice that you've given yourself a time out on the IF stuff.

At 1:44 AM, Blogger moo said...

so glad to hear you are doing well. I missed you! xxmoo

At 2:50 AM, Blogger Millie said...

It's always so very good to hear from you. You have been missed. It sounds like things are going very nicely for you.

Cape Town isn't going anywhere so I think you are right to hold off until you're 'there'. And it takes a looong time after what you've been through.

Wishing you all the best.

At 4:11 PM, Blogger the waiting line said...

Glad to hear from you. Had been checking in quite a bit and wondering how you were doing.

At 1:36 AM, Blogger amyesq said...

Lovely to see you back! And can't wait to hear how your traveling went.

Have been GORGING on the fabulous mince pies. You are a total Goddess for sending them and I won't hear a WORD about how you are not ready for Christmas since your most important gift has already been sent and arrived at my house. Thank you thank you thank you!

At 12:26 AM, Blogger Donna said...

Time away from thinking about your reproductive parts is always a good thing. I hope your holidays are wonderful! Come by my blog for some free music.

At 4:30 PM, Anonymous Kimmer said...

I'm so glad you are feeling better, sometime a little break is just want the RE ordered. Thinking of you and hope you are enjoying the holiday seasons!


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